What a Week!
by Red Swan
Summary: Only SG-1 can get into as much trouble at home as off-world. Ahh, revenge! Just a little bit of light-hearted fun! Rating may change (heck, there's nothing bad, no swear words, no violence, nadda!) Chapter 5 finally up!
1. Day One: Monday

TITLE: What a Week!  
AUTHOR: Jolinar of Malkshur  
EMAIL: bec_sg1@hotmail.com  
CATEGORY: Humour  
PAIRING: Slightly hinted Sam/Jack, but could be taken any way it's wanted...only a couple of comments here and there that could be shippy or not.  
SPOILERS: None, but a small mention from Message in a Bottle. So tiny that it doesn't even count, really.   
SEASON: Season 4-ish.  
RATING: PG-13   
SUMMARY: Only SG-1 can get into as much trouble at home as off-world.  
STATUS: In progress.

ARCHIVE: fanfiction.net, Heliopolis, any others, just ask.  
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.   
A/N: Hehehe, I wrote A/U there first. Oops. Anyway, this is my first posted SG fic *gulp* so please tell me how I'm going and how I could improve. In other words, please review!

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DAY ONE: MONDAY

'Ah,' General Hammond sighed, sitting back in his chair. He could breathe easily. SG-1 was back home after yet another ending in disaster mission. Now they were home for a week before going off-world again. Plus, they'd come home in one piece. Well, except for Daniel's badly sprained ankle. And the scratches they had all received from running through a forest with deadly bees chasing them. And the bad gash in Major Carter's arm...but apart from that, they seemed to be intact. 'I can finally relax,' General Hammond said to himself, resting for a couple more moments before sitting forward and starting to do his paperwork calmly. 'This should be a good week.'

***

Monday morning, Daniel thought to himself, has to be one of the most terrible times that God ever created. I mean, Monday mornings are fine as long as you're at home sleeping in, or waking up at a dig site. But when you're... 

'Argh!' His solitary crutch caught on a plant and Daniel nearly pitched headfirst into a bush. Steadying himself, Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose and glared at his surroundings. He could see the entrance to Cheyenne Mountain up ahead, but at the rate he was going, he'd break his leg getting there. Daniel winced at the thought. The last thing he needed was a broken leg. Especially when he only had one crutch. The other one was sitting in his office. Since he'd been helped home by Sam and Jack the night before, he hadn't bothered with the crutches, as they had supported him the whole way. But the airman who was supposed to grab them had only grabbed one, and so now, when Daniel didn't have Sam and Jack's support, he was in a spot of trouble. 

Finally hobbling up to the entrance, he showed his ID card and was allowed through. 

'Do you need any help, doctor?' the airman asked, concerned, but Daniel just waved his hand, wobbling as he did so. Grabbing onto the crutch, Daniel steadied himself and shook his head.

'No, but thank you, anyway.' He gave a weak smile and hobbled off to the elevator, trying to restrain from making a sound at the pain in his ankle. How was he supposed to know it would swell up overnight? 'I'm not a freaking doctor...okay, well, maybe I am, but not in a medical sense.' Pushing the button for the elevator, Daniel waited impatiently. He just hoped that Jack was already in the mountain. The last thing he needed was for...

Ting! 

The elevator opened, and, grumbling, Daniel got inside, cheering up slightly when he thought of the translations that awaited him. SG-3, it seemed, had brought back lots for SG-1 to think about. The little machine that no one could figure out had been handed over to Sam to find its function. Teal'c had been asked to explain the Goa'uld hierarchy to the young lieutenant in SG-3, who did not fully understand it yet. Daniel had been given several artifacts to translate and study, and Jack...Daniel grinned to himself. Jack had _lots _of paperwork to do, as he was getting behind in mission reports. When SG-3 had returned, and the mission report on General Hammond's desk the next day, he had pounced on Jack, demanding that he do the required paperwork as he would not be going off-world until he did. Daniel laughed to himself as he remembered the scene. Jack had gone to argue, and then Sam had finally snapped, 'Just do the damn paperwork and you won't have anything else to worry about!' That had silenced Jack's protests, as he was too shocked to continue. 

Daniel was so deep in thought that he didn't realise he had reached his level until the elevator doors _whooshed _open. 

'Daniel! You're late and...why do you have only one crutch?' Daniel groaned inwardly as he saw Jack standing in the hallway. 

'The airman only grabbed one, and...' He tipped dangerously to one side, and Jack stepped forward to steady him.

'You look like the leaning tower of Pisa,' Jack told him, taking his arm and helping him down the hallway.

'Thanks,' Daniel muttered. 'And I'm _not _that late, thank you very much.'

'Well, there's lots of rocks for you to study,' Jack said cheerfully.

'Artifacts, Jack, artifacts...'

'Yeah, whatever.' They finally reached Daniel's 'lab' and he headed inside, sinking down gratefully into his chair. 

'Need anything?' Jack asked, hovering in the doorway.

'No, I'm fine, thanks.' Daniel looked up at him. 'Don't you have _damn _paperwork to do?' he asked, fighting a smile as he saw the annoyance and resignation in Jack's face.

'I should have her court martialled,' he muttered as he left Daniel's 'lab'. Daniel turned to look at the first of several artifacts, smiling to himself.

***

'Okay, I'm not getting very high energy readings, so...' Sam studied her equipment carefully, puzzling over the machine that had been put in her care. Lieutenant Simmons had been assigned to help her, but for the most part, all he'd really been doing was fidgeting around for the last couple of hours. 'Can you find me the EM readings from the third test?' she asked him.

'I don't think so,' Lieutenant Simmons said quietly, not meeting her eye. Sam paused in her work, then turned to face him.

'Why not?' Still fidgeting, he walked over to where she was standing, staying a few feet away.

'I just...are they new earrings?' Sam only just managed to contain her surprise.

'I'm not wearing any earrings,' she pointed out, putting her hand up to her ear just to make sure. Lieutenant Simmons wasn't even _looking _at her, so even if she was wearing earrings, he wouldn't even be able to see.

'Okay, so why can't you get the EM readings from...'

'Have you dyed your hair? It looks really nice.' He continued to fidget, and Sam got increasingly confused. Ignoring what Daniel had once said to her concerning Lieutenant Simmons, she asked him what was wrong as he turned and sat back down.

'Are you okay, Lieutenant?' 

'I'm fine...' His fidgeting soon grew unbearable, and Sam had difficulty controlling her temper. 

'Okay, well, are you able to help me or do you need to go get a drink or something?'

'You'd like to have a drink with me?' he asked, looking up hopefully. 

'Ah, no, I actually meant that _you _should go get a drink while I continue to work on this,' Sam corrected him, trying to control her embarrassment. This was really strange. Really, _really _strange, and she didn't like it one bit. 

'No, I'll be alright. I want to help you.' He looked so eager that Sam didn't have the heart to tell him to go away. 

'Okay, well, you'll need to start helping, then,' she told him.

'Sure, any way I can!' Sam bit back a grin as she turned away from him and looked at the device. It was an interesting looking device. It basically consisted of a small cube with lots of framework around it. There were a couple of buttons, that released a small EM field when pressed, but other than that, it didn't seem to feel like sharing its function. Sam suddenly noticed a small flashing light on one side of the cube, the side facing Lieutenant Simmons. Shooting a sharp look at him, she looked closer at the light and saw a small hole above it. 

'Lieutenant, can you come over here a minute?' Sam called to him, beckoning to the device. 'Have a look at that for me.' As the lieutenant walked over, the small light started to flash. 

'Is that a new jacket?' he asked her, and Sam stood up suddenly, backing away from the device and the lieutenant, getting a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

What if the device released something...something to make the lieutenant act strangely? 

'Carter?' Panic!

'Don't come in!' Sam shouted, racing to the door and stopping Jack in the doorway. 

'Carter? I just came to ask you about...what's with him?' He looked over her shoulder, and Sam turned to see the lieutenant smoothing his hair back and looking at his reflection in a piece of equipment. 

'Well, ah, the device seems to be releasing something...that's just a guess, but if it is, it's making the lieutenant act...'

'You really do look lovely today.'

'Like that,' Sam finished, turning to face Jack again. 'And it is really _really _annoying.' She could tell he was trying not to laugh.

'Well, I think you should get loverboy out of your lab. and to the infirmary,' Jack told her, obviously trying not to laugh. 'I'll get a team to come in and get rid of that device.'

'It could prove...' Sam stopped at the look on his face. 'Yeah, okay.' She didn't move.

'Well?'

'I just...don't want...' Jack understood her.

'I don't think he'll think a trip to the infirmary is a hot and heavy date, Carter.' Sam glared at him. 'Besides, I am _not _going in there. God knows what would happen.' Sam decided to ignore that, although she could feel herself going slightly red. 

'Okay, okay, point made. You get the team, and I'll get Lieutenant Simmons out of there.' Sam looked decidedly unhappy, but Jack just grinned at her and clapped her on the back. 

'Piece of cake, hey, Carter?' Sam headed inside her laboratory. 

'Lieutenant?' she said carefully. 'Lieutenant, we need to head to the infirmary. Come on.'

'Samantha?'

'That's Major to you,' she said immediately, stepping forward and taking his arm. He put his other hand over hers. Sam resigned herself and started pulling him towards the door. He walked willingly, talking all the while about how lovely she looked that day...and every day, as a matter of fact! Sam sighed, resisting the urge to smack him over the head to get him to shut up. Her only consolation, she thought to herself, was that the Colonel wasn't there to hear it. She'd never hear the end of it if he was.

***

CRASH!

'Godda...JACK!' Daniel stared at the piles of paper on the floor, and felt like kicking the whole compound down. All his carefully recorded files, all alphabetically and numerically ordered were now covering the floor because some dumbass young sergeant didn't know how to move a crutch properly. The sergeant was there 'helping' Daniel with sorting out a few files, apparently appointed by Jack, and had, in the process of moving one of Daniel's crutches out of the way, pushed months worth of work onto the floor.

'I'm sorry, Dr Jackson. Would you like me to...'

'Get Jack! Now!' Daniel was beside himself with anger, and was having difficulty containing it. All his files...his precious files...all over the floor... 'What are you doing? Go get Colonel O'Neill! Now!'

'Dr Jackson.' Daniel looked over and saw Teal'c standing on the doorway. 'I was on my way to complete my Kel'nor'reem when I heard you yell. Do you need assistance?' Daniel pursed his lips, and stared around the room.

'No, Teal'c, I'll be fine. But if you could get Jack for me, I'd really appreciate it.'

'Do you need...'

'You've helped enough, thank you.' Daniel's voice was cold, and the sergeant wasted no time leaving the room, much to Daniel's relief. 

'This will take some time to clean up,' Teal'c observed. 'I am able to offer my assistance, should you require it.' Daniel smiled gratefully at Teal'c.

'No thank you, but I really do appreciate the offer. You go complete your Kel'nor'reem.' Teal'c bowed his head.

'Very well. I shall visit you again later, to make sure everything is in order.' Teal'c left the doorway, and Daniel smiled to himself. Teal'c had to have the best manners of anyone he knew. It sure was a change from Jack's sarcastic comments. 

Swiveling around in his chair, Daniel stared at all the papers on the floor, trying hard to control his emotions. Anger, sadness...an almost uncontrollable urge to knock the sergeant unconscious...he must have been sitting there for some time, because suddenly the sergeant was back, staring at him.

'Dr Jackson, Colonel O'Neill is extremely busy at the moment.'

'If it's his damn paperwork, I don't care!'

'No, it's a...an interesting operation, involving some device in Major Carter's laboratory.'

'Trust her to be more important!' Daniel slammed a fist on the desk, then realised he was out of line. He looked up sheepishly. The sergeant was staring at him with a puzzled look on his face. 'Nevermind, sergeant, does he know I want to talk to him?'

'Yes, he said he'd be down as soon as possible. May I leave?' It was amusing, Daniel thought, a military man asking him permission to leave. But that was the affect he got, being on SG-1. 

'Yes, certainly, go. Please.' The sergeant paused.

'I really am sorry. I would like to help you.'

'Forget it,' Daniel told him. 'Just forget it, really. I'll sort it out.' The sergeant nodded and left, a disappointed expression on his face. 'Well, I'd better start sorting these out.' Daniel got slowly to his feet, then settled himself on the floor, surrounding by papers and translations and drawings of missions past. He picked one up. 'The language of the Ancients...'

***

Dr Fraiser had a hard time controlling her smile, Sam noted, when she took Lieutenant Simmons to the infirmary. By that stage the affects of the device were waning, but he still felt the need to tell her how wonderful she looked and how much he'd like to have a drink with her. As the affects lessened, he seemed to be getting bolder. It was extremely confusing, and while Sam hated it, everyone around her was having trouble controlling their laughter. 

'The affects are lessening,' Sam told Janet.

'Yes...yes, they are.' She bit her lip, studying her clipboard. 'Well, I think our friend here...well, your friend...was exposed to an excess of a certain hormone. This hormone made him act...well, like he's been acting.' She looked at Sam. 'No one else was exposed to this, were they?'

'The people moving the device were going to be fully geared up, so no,' Sam said. 'The only other person who's been around it, apart from myself, is Colonel O'Neill.' Sam didn't miss the way Janet's eyebrows went up. 'But he didn't enter the laboratory or go anywhere near the device. It was about that stage I realised what it must have been doing, so he stayed out.' Janet didn't say anything but made a note of it. 

'Alright, I'll check him over anyway...speak of the devil,' she muttered. Sam turned and saw Jack heading towards them. 

'What's this I hear about Shakespeare?' he asked, eyes twinkling. Sam was not impressed. 

'I don't know, sir,' she said shortly. 'What have you heard?'

'Something about a balcony scene?' He looked so innocent, but Sam knew better. She hadn't worked with him for four years without learning something. 

'Why don't you want to have a drink with me, Samantha? You offered, remember? Right after you complimented me on my hair. You have lovely, hair. Did you brush it or something?' Jack didn't even try and hide the grin that appeared on his face, and Sam felt herself going red again.

'Yes, I think they were spot on when they said balcony scene,' he commented. 'Got yourself a not-so-secret admirer, there, Carter.' Trying to overcome her embarrassment, she changed the subject somewhat.

'Is the device out of my laboratory?' she asked. 'And back on that damn planet where it belongs?'

'No...yes to the first, no to the last. They've got it in quarantine, so to speak. A couple of scientists are studying it now, and since they're not confessing their dying love for one another, it seems to be okay.' He ignored the withering look Sam sent him and studied Lieutenant Simmons, who was lying on the hospital bed, his eyes half closed.

'Would you like to lie...'

'Well, I have a lot of work to get back to,' Sam said brightly, cutting off the lieutenant's comment, much to Jack's amusement. 'I'll come back later.'

'I've got to head to Daniel's office,' Jack said as they turned and walked towards the entrance of the infirmary. 'Apparently he was extremely angry and shouting for me.'

'What have you done now, sir?'

'Me? I haven't done anything! The sergeant looked terrified out of his mind, so I'm guessing he did something wrong and Daniel wants someone to take it out on.'

'Colonel O'Neill?' It was the sergeant again, looking decidedly nervous. 'Dr Jackson really would like to see you as soon as possible.' He shot a strange look at Sam, then turned back to Jack. 'You should go see him immediately.'

'Thank you, sergeant,' Jack said, starting to head down the hall. 'Come on, Carter, we've got to go save Daniel from himself.' Sam grinned and started to follow him.

'Yes sir.'

***

'...so that goes there,' Daniel muttered to himself. It had been hours, and still Jack hadn't turned up. He was getting increasingly annoyed, and started to take his anger out on Sam. 'If she could just take care of a simple device, then Jack wouldn't have to go off and play hero. Then maybe he could help people other than her for a moment...'

'Daniel, you rang?'

'Three hours ago!' Jack walked jovially into Daniel's office, stopping short when he saw the mess. 'What on earth happened?' 

'Oh, some sergeant decided to knock everything off my walls,' Daniel informed him, suddenly noticing Sam at the door. 'How's the device going?' Jack shot her an amused look.

'Great,' Sam said, sounding sarcastic, which was unlike her. 'Just fantastic. What do you want me to help with?' Daniel smiled thankfully, some of his good humour returning.

'Ah...I guess to just pick up the piles of papers I've already sorted and leave them on my desk,' he told her. 'Jack...you can provide support. I know you get catatonic within an inch of my paperwork.'

'Or any paperwork,' Sam muttered to herself.

'Excuse me?' Jack didn't know who to turn to, so he just helped pick up the piles of paper. 'How's the ankle going?'

'Yeah, alright,' Daniel replied absently. 'I have to head back to the infirmary this evening, so...' Sam coughed into her hand, and Daniel looked up to see Jack looking decidedly happy and Sam with an unreadable expression on her face. 'What? What did I say?'

'Oh, nothing...just nothing,' Sam said, shuffling the papers she held.

'While in the infirmary, visit Lieutenant Simmons,' Jack told him, grinning impishly. 'Tell him Carter misses his company in her laboratory.'

'Don't, Daniel,' Sam threatened. 'Just don't. Colonel, with all due respect, shut up.'

'Shut up?'

'Lieutenant Simmons?' Daniel said at the same time Jack spoke. 'What's up with Lieutenant Simmons?' He hid a smile. 'Don't tell me. He's still got a cr...' Sam slammed the papers on the desk as Jack grinned even broader.

'Oh, it's better than that, Daniel,' Jack informed him. 'He got infected with some hormone, so now he's confessing he's undying love for her.'

'He is _not!' _ Sam argued. 'He just keeps complimenting and all that...it's nothing, Janet said the affects will go away soon.'

'Sooner rather than later, eh?' Jack said, placing another pile of papers on Daniel's desk. 'Where did you get all this paper?'

'Well, over the years, paper seems to accumulate...be careful of that, Jack,' Daniel warned as Jack picked up an interesting looking pot. 

'That's strange,' he said.

'It's a pot,' Sam pointed out after a pause, brushing her hair back. It was short, but it was still able to annoy her. Continually. 'Since when are you interested in that kind of stuff?'

'Oh, come on, I'm not that single minded...' He stopped when he saw both Sam and Daniel staring at him in shock. 'Okay, nevermind.'

'So tell me more about Lieutenant Simmons,' Daniel prompted. 'I swear, when you get stuck in your office, you miss all the fun stuff.'

'It's not fun,' Sam told him. 'It's downright embarrassing...not to mention unprofessional.'

'Here we go,' Jack groaned.

'I'm serious, he keeps calling me Samantha. That is wrong on two levels. One, I'm his superior, and two, I prefer being called Sam. Samantha is just a waste of time and energy.' Sam didn't look happy. 'And we are not discussing this any further.'

'Carter...'

'I mean it, sir. I do _not _wish to talk about this any longer.' 

'Daniel brought it up.'

'Oh, I did not!'

'Did too.'

'Did not.'

'Did too.' 

'Good to see we're nice and professional,' a voice from the doorway said, and the three immediately turned around. 'At ease, people.' 

'General?' Sam's voice expressed what they were all thinking. What on earth are you doing here? 'Is there something we can help you with?'

'I think you need to come to the infirmary, Major,' General Hammond told her. 'Colonel, Dr Jackson, you should come too.' They all looked at each other.

'Yes sir,' Sam muttered, waiting for Jack and Daniel before walking out the door.

***

'I hate crutches. I really hate crutches. Not only have I been without one and nearly tripped over, I've had my entire office knocked down around my ears because of them,' Daniel grumbled, trying to keep up a good pace so Sam and Jack didn't have to walk too slowly. 

'Relax, Daniel, we're in no hurry,' Sam reminded him. 

'If it was urgent, General Hammond would have paged us to get our asses in gear,' Jack added. 

'Don't say...'

__

'SG-1, please report to the infirmary immediately!' 

'What did you say that for?' Daniel complained as Sam and Jack hurried him along. 'The minute you said that, of course they were going to page us!'

'We're nearly there, anyway,' Sam said, leading the way down the corridor.

'Where are you going, Janet?'

'Come back!'

'Doctor, I need another check-up!' Janet practically ran from the infirmary and nearly crashed into Sam.

'Whoa, what's going on?' Jack asked, sounding amused. Janet glared at him. Of course he'd find this funny. It was just the sort of thing the Colonel thought was hilarious. And because it was aimed at Sam and now Janet, it was doubly hilarious. Well, she hoped die laughing. Literally. Because she couldn't take much more humiliation.

'Tell me again why they put you in charge of the most important team,' Janet snapped at him. He just raised his eyebrows and mouthed, 'touché!' 

'What's going on?' Sam said, echoing Jack as she peered around the corner of the infirmary. 

'All the men that moved the device and studied it got infected by the...hormone or whatever it is,' Janet told her. 'Now they're wolf-whistling at anything in a skirt or that looks remotely female.' Her mouth twitched. 'Maybe you shouldn't go in there, Colonel.' Jack glared at her as Sam hid her smile and Daniel openly grinned. 

'Is it to any particular person or just whoever happens to be there?' Sam asked.

'I'm not sure. It seems to be to everyone, but at the same time they target me when I'm there,' Janet told her.

'That's odd,' Sam commented. 

'How does that work?' Daniel asked, confused.

'Well, if I'm in the room with a couple of the nurses, all the comments are directed at me,' Janet told him. 'But if just the nurses are there, they settle for them.' 

'What about Simmons?' Jack asked.

'Simmons is asleep,' Janet informed him. 'So he hasn't really done anything for a couple of hours.' Sam took a deep breath.

'Why did General Hammond demand we come here?' she asked.

'We need to figure this out, and I want to use you guys as test subjects,' Janet told them. 'Sorry Colonel,' she said at the look on his face. 'I really need to figure this out somehow, and it seems to be the only way. I couldn't think of any other teams who would be willing to volunteer.'

'Dr Fraiser.' It was Teal'c, making his way down the hallway. 'Our presence was requested.'

'Yes, Teal'c,' she said, then explained again what she had just told Sam, Jack and Daniel. 'What do you think of that?'

'I would be willing to assist in any way,' he told her. 'However, I do not see how I will be able to help.' 

'Just work with me, Teal'c,' Janet said calmly. 'Alright, Sam, you come inside with me. The rest of you, stay out here.' Sam looked decidedly unenthusiastic. 'Don't worry,' Janet assured her. 'I'm pretty sure the loss of affects will also mean memory loss of the events. And we all know they're under the influence of an alien technology.' Sam nodded and headed inside. There were five men in infirmary beds, all staring as she and Janet headed inside.

'Janet, I love your hair today.'

'Are they new earrings, Janet?'

'You look gorgeous.' 

'Who's the chick with you?' Sam and Janet exchanged a glance. 

'You go visit Simmons,' Janet instructed, and Sam headed over to the end bed, which had a curtain around it, fully aware that Daniel and Jack would be laughing themselves silly at that very moment. 

As she reached his bed, she saw he was half awake.

'Who's there?' he asked drowsily.

'Major Carter,' she told him. 'You've had a long sleep.'

'Am I in the infirmary?' She nodded, then realised he still didn't have his eyes properly open.

'Yes, you're in the infirmary,' she told him. 

'Why am I here?' He tried to sit up as his eyes opened, and Sam pushed him back down gently.

'Don't sit up yet, you need to rest. Can you remember anything of the past twelve or so hours?'

'I can remember looking at that device,' Lieutenant Simmons told her.

'And after that?' 

'I...I can't remember anything!' He was reasonably distressed, and Sam called for Janet, who came immediately. 

'What's happened?' Janet asked, checking his vitals. 

'I can't remember anything! What's happened?' 

'Ssh, stay calm,' Janet told him, and Sam could hear catcalls from through the curtain, and she made a face. Honestly.

Lieutenant Simmons refused to stay calm, and Janet was forced to give him a sedative.

'When he wakes up again, what do we tell him?' she asked Sam. Sam shrugged.

'I don't know, I haven't thought of a reasonable story yet,' she replied, not sounding happy. 'I hate this. Where's the device now?'

'Still in the quarantine area. It's sealed off, and no one's to go in there. I think someone zatted it, but we're not taking any chances.' Sam nodded.

'It's only slightly embarrassing.'

'Okay, Colonel!' Janet called, walking out from the curtain, followed by Sam, then closing the curtain behind her. 'Can you come in here a moment?' Jack walked in, looking around, then headed over to Janet and Sam.

'What are you doing here?'

'Get out of here! Get away from her!'

'This is only slightly strange,' Jack commented, as the insults and shouts of 'get away from her!' continued, filling the infirmary with noise.

'Okay, be quiet!' Janet called, trying to raise her voice above everyone else's. It had an instantaneous effect; everyone stopped talking and stared at her. 'Okay, Daniel!' Daniel got the same reception as Jack, and it was Janet again who had to get them to be quiet. 

'Teal'c!' Sam called, and he walked in, looking at the men in the beds with a careful eye.

'If you are to insult me or my friends, I would not be happy with you,' he told them as the insults started. 'I may even have to hurt you.'

'Teal'c,' Janet said warningly. 'They're not well. Be quiet!' she shouted at them, then faced SG-1 again. 'Thanks for your help, this clears something up.' 

'Do you need us for anything else, doctor?' Jack asked.

'No, you can go now, thank you.' She smiled at them, then headed back to her small office. Jack tapped his hand lightly on Sam's shoulder. 

'Let's head back to Daniel's office,' he said.

'Get your hand off her!'

'He's mauling her!'

'Oh, for crying out loud,' Jack muttered, tapping Daniel on the shoulder. 'Danny? Aren't you coming?'

'What? Oh, yeah, sure.' 

'Teal'c!'

'O'Neill.'

'Come help us with Daniel's office,' Jack said to him. 'It'll be great. The four of us and a pile of papers.'

'What about your damn paperwork?' Daniel asked him as they headed out of the infirmary, grinning as they heard Janet's, 'Be quiet!' 

'I have all week, Daniel, your paperwork comes first today,' Jack told him. 'This is certainly an interesting day. Considering we're not off-world.'

***

General Hammond stared at the medical reports in front of him, and the complaint reports beside those. He may as well face it. It wasn't going to be smooth sailing. The strange medical condition of the men in the infirmary had one bright spot in a pretty dark, but quite humorous, sky. The complaint reports were something else. Daniel Jackson, who had obviously been furious, was complaining about Sergeant Roberts' behaviour and disorganisation, and the fact he had cost him about ten days worth of filing, not stopping to translate anything SG-3 had brought back. 

In an effort to get Colonel O'Neill to do his paperwork, he had instructed an airman to report every couple of hours. Drastic measures, but necessary ones. He had considered getting Major Carter to check on him every couple of hours, but he knew better than that. She'd cover for him. She wouldn't be able to help herself. Same with Daniel Jackson...although because he was in such a bad mood he probably wouldn't. 

That was another thing. Major Carter was also in quite a bad mood. Which wasn't surprising, considering she'd had to put up with Lieutenant Simmons' comments all morning. Which put most of SG-1 in a bad mood. Okay, half. Colonel O'Neill had seemed decidedly happy and amused by everything, and Teal'c was impassive. 

But then, the General mused, they had seemed quite happy in...his hand was on the phone and dialing before he could stop himself. 

'Yes?'

'Is Colonel O'Neill there?' General Hammond asked. Stupid question. It was his office he'd rung.

'No sir, I just came by to check and he isn't here. I was just about to report, sir.'

'Thank you.' The General hung up the phone. Colonel O'Neill had been in Daniel Jackson's office, helping him sort it out. He was probably back there. Picking up the phone again, Hammond dialed.

'Hello?' 

'This is General Hammond. Is Major Carter there?'

'Yes, sir, here she is.' There was a pause. 

'Sir?'

'Major, do you know if Colonel O'Neill is doing his paperwork?' There was a pause.

'I'm not sure, sir,' she told him.

'More directly, is Colonel O'Neill in the room with you?' 

'Ah, no sir, he's not,' Major Carter told him. 'He's not in this room.' 

'Would you know his exact location?' General Hammond asked. He was trying to ask her direct questions that she couldn't get out of.

'No, actually, sir,' she told him. 'Would you like me to look for him?'

'No,' General Hammond said, hiding a sigh. 'That's fine, thank you.' He hung up the phone and shook his head. 

Definitely not smooth sailing.

***

'Don't you _ever _make me do that again,' Sam fumed after she'd hung up the phone. Jack stepped back into the room.

'What?'

'Lie to the General!'

'Carter, you didn't lie,' Jack told her. 'You bought me enough time to get to my office and immerse myself in paperwork.' 

'I did lie!' Sam was shocked with herself. 

'What did he ask you?' Jack asked.

'He asked me if you were doing your paperwork,' Sam told him. 'I said I wasn't sure. Which isn't true. I was definitely sure you weren't doing your paperwork.'

'Okay, skip that. Next question?'

'If you were in the room...'

'Which I wasn't, I stepped out into the hall and up a few steps.'

'Then he asked your exact location...'

'Which you didn't know because you couldn't see me.' Jack grinned triumphantly. 'Well done, Carter. I like your style. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get to my office. Later, Danny-boy.'

'Bye Jack,' Daniel said absent-mindedly. 'And don't worry, Sam, technically you're in the clear.'

'It's all a matter of precision,' she pointed out glumly. 'Let's just hope he doesn't check me up on it.'

'He wouldn't,' Daniel assured her. 'Stop fretting. Anyway, would you feel better knowing you got Jack in trouble with Hammond?' Sam bit her lip.

'No, not really,' she told him. 'What else would you like me to do?'

'Oh, that's it for now, thanks.' Daniel smiled at her. 'You can head off and do whatever you need to do.'

'You sure?' she asked worriedly. 'I don't want to leave you while you've got so much work to...' 

'No, only I can really do most of this.' 

'Okay.' Sam headed for the door.

'Thank you,' Daniel called quietly, already immersed in more of his papers. Shaking her head, Sam left his office, heading towards the elevator.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up soon...I hope. 

This is for all those people that still can't understand why I love Stargate so much...especially Steph, Laura, Aimme and Missa, who are more...vocal in their confusion.

Cheers and chocolate chip cookies! (hehehe...chocolate chip cookies...) 

Jolinar of Malkshur


	2. Day Two: Tuesday

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it's really appreciated! I'll post it at Heliopolis shortly, there are just some editing 'details' I have to fix up. :((

DAY TWO: TUESDAY

'Morning, Major.'

'Morning,' Sam returned, showing her ID card to the airman. 

'That's okay,' he told her, moving aside to let her through. Just as she was stepping past, he stopped her. 'Major Carter!' She turned back.

'Yes?'

'I have a letter here for you from a Lieutenant Simmons,' the airman told her, handing her a small piece of paper. Sam took it, confused.

'I don't understand, why would he write me a letter?' she mused aloud.

'I really don't know, ma'am. I didn't read it.' Sam suddenly thought of something. She looked up sharply.

'He's in the infirmary. How could he have left the letter here?' The airman just smiled.

'Oh, Colonel O'Neill took the liberty of bringing it up here.'

'Colonel O'Neill?'

Ting!

A lightbulb flashed, and Sam stared the letter, shaking her head. 

'Thank you, you've been very helpful,' she told him. He suddenly had a worried look on his face.

'I wasn't meant to tell you that,' he admitted, and Sam walked off, grinning to herself. She pocketed the letter, deciding to wait until she reached her laboratory to read it. Trust Jack to do something like this. He had the worst sense of humour at times, finding humour in other people's misfortune. Of course, Sam reasoned, if this were happening to someone else, and women were declaring their undying love for him, she'd _have _to poke fun. But it wasn't that way at all, so she just had to sit back and accept whatever Jack was going to dish out. If neccessary she'd recruit Daniel to help her with a little revenge...difficult when the risk of court martial was hanging over her head, but a few comments here and there could be over-looked. 

Deep in thought, Sam seemed to walk the way to her laboratory without even thinking about it. She was at the door before she even realised where she was, suddenly snapping back to reality as she tried to open the locked door.

'You may need to unlock the door, Major,' a voice called cheerily.

'Yes, sir, I figured that,' Sam said, pulling a key out of her pocket and unlocking the door. 

'You may want to visit Daniel later,' Jack told her. 'He's in an absolute rampage. Daniel-style, so it's nothing too violent, but a rampage all the same.'

'What's happened?' Sam asked, flicking the switches and entering her laboratory. It had been off-limits since the device had been rushed out, but was now thankfully safe to enter. 'I missed this place yesterday.' Jack shook his head.

'Carter, you were gone from it for what? Six hours?' She didn't reply, too busy checking everything to make sure it was all in place.

'Hmm?'

'Forget it, Carter, you work too hard. Anyway, Daniel's in a bad mood because that annoying archaeologist...what's his name? He joined our team for a couple of missions when Daniel resigned.'

'Ah...Rothman, I think, sir,' Sam told him. Jack snapped his fingers.

'Yeah, him. Something happened and Daniel found him in his office, sorting through all the papers Daniel spent so long cataloguing yesterday. 

'Really?' Sam leant against one of the workbenches, shaking her head. 'That's terrible. So you want me to visit him, sir?'

'Yeah.' Jack shrugged. 'You know me and sympathy.' Sam nodded, her eyebrows raised.

'Or lack thereof,' she added, but Jack just rolled his eyes.

'Whatever. Hammond wants to see me, later, Carter.'

'Bye, sir,' Sam said as he left, closing the laboratory door behind him. It was then Sam remembered the letter in her pocket. Damn! She was going to mention it while he was there, but forgot. Putting her hand in her pocket, she pulled out the letter, unfolded it, and read,

'Major Carter (do you mind if I call you Samantha?),

Dr Fraiser says I'll be out of the infirmary today, so would you like to meet me in the commissary at lunch? I'll be sitting at your usual table...and Samantha...come alone.

Lieutenant Simmons.'

Sam had to grin. That was so typical! Terrible, but typical. Shaking her head, she folded the letter and put it back in her pocket, then checked her watch. SG-1 had a meeting with General Hammond sometime during that morning, and she didn't want to be late. If Jack's meeting with him was any indication, he was cracking down on work being done and teams working together as teams, for lack of a better term, even when not offworld. Plus they had the device to discuss. Sam frowned. She'd rather forget it never existed...but as that wasn't possible, she'd just have to put up with it. 

'Damn device,' she muttered to herself, leaning against the bench for a few more minutes before pushing herself up and heading to the control room, where she was needed to check a couple of the programs running on the computers.

***

Daniel was furius. Daniel was livid. Daniel was ready to tear down and destroy anyone who dared walk in that door and act cheerful. Basically, if Jack came along, he was _gone. _Not that it was his fault, of course, but he always seemed to make Daniel's anger worse. Sometimes he came through and managed to calm Daniel down, but most of the time, he just riled his temper even more.

How dare Robert Rothman go into his office without asking and disturb all the files? How had he gotten in? He'd refused to answer when Daniel had questioned him, and then had fled before Daniel could really start interrogating. 

It wasn't just that the files had been messed up a bit. It was the whole principal of the thing. You don't just walk into somebody else's office. And along those lines, you don't allow someone to walk into someone else's office. You ask first. You not go in there in the first place. You at least get yourself out before the owner of the office catches you rifling through their stuff...okay, so maybe that one wasn't applicable, but the first two certainly were! 

Flicking through the papers on the desk, Daniel quickly made sure they were all there. 

'Well, there's none missing, they're just out of order. Fabulous. I only have to re-file these, and then continue doing the rest. What a great start to a week.' Daniel rubbed his eyes. It was only the second day they'd been back at Cheyenne Mountain after a day off after the mission, and already everything was going down hill.

'Daniel Jackson.' Daniel looked up. Teal'c was standing outside the office. 'I believe it is nearly time for our meeting with General Hammond.' Daniel checked his watch.

'How can that be? According to my watch, I've been here for three hours! That is impossible.'

'I believe, Daniel Jackson, that it is possible. You often get very engrossed in your work and lose track of time. I have observed this between you and Major Carter.'

'Oh.' Daniel didn't quite know what to say to that. 'Okay, I'll be there in a second, Teal'c.' Daniel put down the papers and grabbed his crutches. 'Do you have any idea what this meeting is about?'

'I do not,' Teal'c replied, holding his head a little higher. 'I do believe that O'Neill is speaking with General Hammond at the moment.'

'Yeah, his paperwork.' Daniel walked to the door, and Teal'c stepped sideways so he could go through. 'Ah, thanks. And something else, I think. He didn't exactly have any idea what it was about himself, so when I asked...'

'Is there something the matter, Daniel Jackson?' Teal'c asked suddenly as Daniel pressed the button for the elevator viciously.

'Why do you ask?' Daniel enquired, surprised. He didn't think his anger was so apparent.

'You do not seem in your normal state of good humour,' Teal'c told him, stepping inside the elevator. 'What has happened?'

'It's nothing, Teal'c,' Daniel told him as the doors whooshed shut. 'I just had a bit of a bad morning.'

'I see,' Teal'c said, although Daniel knew he had no idea what Daniel was talking about. They spent the rest of the elevator trip and walk to the briefing room in silence, both deep in thought.

***

Jack sat, fidgeting, as General Hammond talked. 

'Now, I'm not going to say much until we join the rest of SG-1,' General Hammond was saying. 'But I really feel we need to keep up a team dynamic at the base as well as off-world.'

'With all due respect, sir, SG-1 do have a good team dynamic, and I can't imagine why you would think otherwise,' Jack told him. 

'I didn't say that you didn't, Colonel. All I'm saying is that you will all be helped greater if you communicate just that little bit more...especially in the conducting of research and completion of paperwork,' General Hammond told him.

'General...'

'I know this doesn't really apply very much to SG-1, Colonel, but I have to tell you this.'

'I know, General, but SG...'

'I won't say anymore until we join the rest of them. Dismissed.' Jack went to say more, but knew it would be useless. 

'Yes, sir.' Jack stood up and left General Hammond's office, walking into the briefing room and collapsing in his seat. Picking up his notepad, he started drawing idly, not really concentrating. He knew his paperwork would come up, and General Hammond had given him a sound lecture about being in Daniel's office the day before instead of working. Jack had argued that Daniel had needed help, and General Hammond had promply asked him how he could possibly help Daniel with his paperwork when he couldn't do his own? He had also been asked to not get Major Carter to lie for him. No matter how much Jack had argued that she _hadn't _lied, the General wouldn't believe it. Knowing he was defeated, Jack had simply listened, occasionally tuning out. It was when Hammond had started talking about team dynamics and keeping it up that Jack had found the need to argue.

'Hey, Jack.' Jack looked up.

'O'Neill.'

'Hey, Daniel, hey Teal'c, have a seat.' Teal'c took his place to Jack's left, and Daniel sat across from Jack. 

'What was your meeting with the General about?' Daniel asked. Before Jack could answer, the General himself walked in.

'Tell you later,' Jack muttered, making a half-hearted attempt to stand.

'At ease, Colonel.' Jack sat back down again and resumed his drawing. 'Where's Major Carter?'

'Still in the control room, I think,' Jack replied. 'Want me to go get her?' 

'She's here now,' Sam said, walking through the door quickly and taking a seat. 'Sorry, sir,' she said to the General.

'That's alright, Major. Before we officially start, I'd just like to inform you that the device has been put in quarantine until further notice. Scientists are attempting to study it, but quite frankly, I don't see the point in that.'

'Yes, sir,' Sam replied, looking relieved that the device was well away from where it could do any harm. General Hammond continued. 

'Now I've called you all here today to talk about something I've just been talking to Colonel O'Neill about.' There was silence around the table.

'Jack, why...'

'It's nothing I've done, it's the team in general, Daniel,' Jack said, cutting Daniel off before he could say anything. 

'But...'

'Ah!' Jack held his hand up. 'I don't want to hear it, Daniel.' General Hammond waited patiently until they finished their sniping. 

'Colonel O'Neill's right, I'm here to talk to you about team dynamic. It's been noticed that once some of the teams return here, they lost contact with one another. Or they...'

'But that's not the case with SG-1, sir,' Sam told him. The General sighed. Jack was amused. He knew the General was going to have a tough time trying to explain to SG-1 they needed to have more team dynamic. There would be arguments after every sentence.

'It all depends on what you call team dynamic, Major,' General Hammond told her. 'Some of the teams don't communicate once back on base as much as they should. This lack of communication means lack of detail and the work that's done back here. But it can also be...'

'Sir...' Jack started, but General Hammond continued talking before he could say anything. 

'Because of differences in interests between the team members, there is a huge communication loss.' General Hammond sat back, and couldn't help wishing he'd worded that differently. The arguments came at him all at once as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

'General, we couldn't be more different and we talk on the base. Frequently. Helping with reports...'

'Sir, every single member of SG-1 has a different interest. Heck, one of us is an alien. And we all know how I...'

'Sir, need I remind you that...' 

'I believe this is not the case for SG-1.' General Hammond held his hands up as they all talked at once. 'If you would let me talk, I could explain what else is an issue. Look, I know you believe that the team is fine. And I whole-heartedly believe this. However, there is some talk that SG-1 is _too _close. As much as there is a lack of communication between some teams, in others there is too much.' Silence met this.

'Sir, first you're accusing us of not talking, and now you're saying we talk too much?' Sam asked, confused. 'What do you want us to do?'

'Yesterday, you were all helping Daniel Jackson in his office. Did you all need to be there?'

'We were _helping_, General. He just happened to be in trouble and needed help. Is this wrong?' Jack demanded. 

'No, Colonel, it's not wrong. But you all had other work to do. It seems to me that you all communicate very well...for the wrong reasons. Now...'

'Sir, with all due respect, I think SG-1 has been functioning normally ever since we started...well, ever since Teal'c joined, anyway,' Sam told him. 'I think our team dynamic works quite well, especially looking at the success rate we've had over the years.' Jack and Daniel both nodded to that, and Teal'c bowed his head once in approval.

'I agree with Major Carter. SG-1 works extremely efficiently the way we are at the moment,' Teal'c told him. 'If this is not to your satisfaction...' General Hammond shook his head, standing up. 

'I can see that I'm not going to get anywhere talking to you people at the moment. I can see your arguments. However, Senator Kinsey...'

'What the _hell _does Kinsey know about how SG-1 runs?' Jack exclaimed.

'Colonel, he's asked me to report how each of the teams run on the base. Your team just happened to perk his interest.' Jack stood up.

'I bet it did. He's been looking for any reason to split us all up since Bauer failed.'

'Colonel O'Neill, please sit down.'

'Sir...'

'I understand what you're thinking, Colonel, but please, sit down.' The General's tone was commanding, and Jack reluctantly sat down, casting a glance around the table. He could see they all looked as shocked as he did. 'I'll dismiss you now, and we'll have another meeting in a few days. In the meantime, don't dwell too much on what Kinsey thinks. I have no intention of following what he says.'

'Then why...?' Sam started to ask. General Hammond sighed.

'I thought it best to let you know what was happening up in the political side of the program. When teams are being watched carefully, it's only fair to let them know it's happening. Dismissed.' The General stood up and left the briefing room.

'I don't believe it!' Daniel said, mostly to himself. 'How could Kinsey just...'

'Oh, he and his precious NID can do anything,' Jack said bitterly. 'I should have shot him when I had the chance.'

'Sir, I don't think there's anything to worry about,' Sam told him.

'Oh, there's something to worry about.' He stood up, looking extremely animated. 'If Kinsey even comes out here, he's going to regret it.' He left the briefing room. Sam and Daniel exchanged glances.

'You don't think...'

'I don't know,' Daniel replied.

'Well, he wouldn't...'

'No idea.'

'Should we...'

'Definitely.' They both stood up and headed for the door, Daniel quite slowly, determined to follow Jack and make sure he didn't do anything drastic. 'Teal'c?'

'I must once again report to Lieutenant Fisher. He still does not understand the Goa'uld hierarchy.' Sam nodded.

'Okay, we'll see you later, Teal'c.' Daniel nodded, and they both headed out the door, Daniel slowly as he was still getting used to the crutches.

***

'That's called stalking, you know.' 

'Jack, we just want to make sure you don't do anything drastic.'

'Me, drastic?'

'Sir, don't let what Kinsey said get to you,' Sam advised. 'Just don't worry about it.' 

'I'm not worried about it.'

'So why are you sharpening your biro?' Jack looked down sharply, then removed the biro from the sharpener calmly, putting both on his desk as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.

'Okay, so I'm annoyed. Big deal. All you have to do is mention NID and I'm ready to go out and shoot Maybourne.'

'That's no threat, Jack, you're always ready to go out and shoot Maybourne,' Daniel pointed out mildly. Sam hid her smile as Jack glared at Daniel. 

'You know what I mean.' He sat silent for a few seconds. 'Now, if you don't mind, I've got some things to do.' Knowing that he wanted them to leave, they left, closing the door behind them.

'I'm back to the control room.' Sam made a face. 'Something's happened to one of the programs, it's not responding properly.' Daniel just nodded.

'That's a bit inconvenient.'

'Just a little bit.' Sam started walking down the corridor. 'Have fun with your filing!'

'Oh, absolutely,' Daniel muttered to himself. 'I may even get Rothman to help me.'

***

Jack was already sitting at a table in the commissary by the time Sam made it down there. She'd had one visit to the infirmary, where, to her and Janet's delight, the five men were no longer making any comments to them. It was like they'd woken up from being unconscious, and had absolutely no recollection of what had happened the previous day. Confusing, but the source of much relief to Sam, Janet and the nurses, and much disappointment to the people who'd found the whole thing hilarious.

To Sam's relief, Jack seemed to be in a much happier mood, writing on something in front of him.

'Hi,' she said, putting her sandwhich down. 'This seat taken?' He looked up from what she recognised as a report and shook his head.

'Nope, not taken.' He grinned slightly. 'Aren't you meeting someone?'

'I don't think they're here yet,' she said. 'Running late, not a good sign.'

'What are they like?' Jack asked her, taking a sip of coffee.

'Oh, they could give some men around here a run for their money.'

'A run? Impressive.' 

'Okay, maybe a sedate walk, but...' Jack grinned. 

'I take it the airman blabbed.'

'Well, I doubt Lieutenant Simmons would have someone take a note to the airman, when he could just tell me something himself if I visited the infirmary,' Sam pointed out. 

'You never know, if he was desperate...'

'If who was desperate?' Daniel hobbled up. 'Can I have a seat? Thanks.' He sat down next to Jack before he could say anything. 'I am absolutely starving.'

'No one's desperate,' Sam told him. 'I'll get your lunch for you, Daniel, what did you want?' 

'Don't worry, I grabbed a coffee half an hour ago. Is it just me, or are you guys confused about that meeting with Hammond earlier?'

'Oh, I'm confused Daniel. Actually, I'm way passed the confused stage, I'm onto the go out to Kinsey's office and shoot him stage.'

'Sir, I agree with Daniel, that meeting with General Hammond really was strange,' Sam argued gently. 'It really didn't make any sense. First saying we don't communicate enough, then saying we communicate too much, I don't get it. Why would he even care? We've been working well for years now.' 

'Well, they're not going to be complaining about it anymore,' Jack said, taking a sip of water. Silence met that statement. It seemed all too ominous.

'Sir, you haven't done anything, have you?'

'Who, me?' 

'Jack, you feigning innocence means you've done something,' Daniel pointed out. 'We'd just like to know how much you've screwed us all up.' 

'Daniel!' Jack exclaimed. 'I can't believe that you'd think that!' Sam and Daniel just stared at him. 'Okay, so I may have rung Kinsey...'

'How many times?'

'Once...or twice...' Jack said vaguely, taking a bite of sandwhich to avoid being questioned any further. 

'And what did you say?' Daniel asked. Silence. 'What did you say?' he prompted. Jack looked up at him.

'What?'

'What did you say?' Daniel repeated for the third time.

'I said what.'

'What?' 

'What?'

'What did you say on the phone?'

'When?'

'To Kinsey.'

'Kinsey?'

'Jack!' Daniel snapped, unable to control his temper. 'What did you say on the phone to Kinsey today?'

'Phone?'

'I give up!' Daniel got to his feet angrily, grabbing his crutches. 'I'm off the infirmary. Bye Sam.' Without even looking back he walked off angrily, not an easy feat with crutches. In his attempt to stomp off he crashed into the side of the door, wobbling as if he was about to fall. Finally regaining his balance, he stormed through, only for them to hear an, 'Get out my way!' as he walked off. Sam didn't have to look at Jack to know he was grinning.

'With all due respect, sir, was that wise?' she asked him.

'Was what wise?' he asked her. She must have been shooting daggers at him, because he hastily added, 'That was not a joke, I really am asking for real this time.' 

'Baiting Daniel like that and calling Kinsey,' she answered, her patience with him waning quickly. 

'Carter, is anything really wise anymore?'

'Okay, since when did you start talking like the Harsesis?' She went to stand up, but Jack held his hands up.

'I'm sorry, Carter, sit down, for crying out loud. I didn't say anything bad to Kinsey, I just let him know that I know what he's been doing, and that I'm not impressed. He cannot question any of the teams at this base, because, quite frankly, he knows next to nothing about most of them. We're just his target 'cause we keep interrupting his little NID movements.'

'And baiting Daniel?'

'That I just did for fun.' Jack grinned. 'And fun it was.' Sam shook her head.

'Are you sure that's all you said to Kinsey?'

'Well...'

'And how did you say it?'

'Whoa, Carter, back up!' He held his hands up again. 'Don't worry about Kinsey or Daniel, they'll get over it.'

'Get over what?'

'What?' That did it. Sam knew she'd be getting nothing more out of Jack, and staying would succeed in nothing but her losing her temper. She stood up.

'Have a nice lunch, sir,' she said, grabbing her sandwhich, smiling slightly so he'd know she wasn't too mad. 

'I hope your date turns up,' he said, a slight grin on his face.

'Looks like he stood me up,' she replied. 'Oh, well, I think I'll recover.'

'Good to hear.' She nodded a good-bye and headed to the door of the commissary. 'A sedate walk, hey?' Sam just held a hand up in response, grinning as she walked out the door.

***

General Hammond was furious. Well, actually, Senator Kinsey was furious and taking it out on a very annoyed General Hammond.

'The command you keep is disgraceful, if people like Colonel O'Neill can make phone calls like that to this office several times during the day and threaten me.' General Hammond shook his head.

'Phone calls are not screened by myself leaving the mountain,' he told the Senator. 'In no way did I authorise him to call you, or to make any non-...'

'That just adds to the disgrace of your command. But don't worry, General, it's not you I intend to take it out on. If Colonel O'Neill's behaviour doesn't improve, Major Carter will be looking at a demotion.'

'Senator, Major Carter has nothing to do with Colonel O'Neill's behaviour, I cannot allow that,' General Hammond siad in shock.

'Colonel O'Neill may not think very highly of his own career, but if her career was on the line, he may pull himself together. As a result, I am coming out to the mountain tomorrow. I will inform them then. Don't say a word, General. Any wrong behaviour by Colonel O'Neill after I've spoken to them will have Major Carter or Daniel Jackson out of the SGC before they can say naqahdah.' The phone went dead, and General Hammond stared at the opposite wall, trying to calm himself down. How dare Kinsey threaten some of the people under his command! And how dare he think for a second that he will be doing anything to Major Carter or Daniel Jackson's career because Colonel O'Neill felt strongly about his views and dared speak them.

But at the same time, General Hammond was annoyed at Colonel O'Neill for making the phone calls in the first place. What right did he have to do that?

General Hammond shook his head and beckoned to the technician outside his office. 

'Sir?'

'Please page Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill,' he told him. 'Tell them to come to my office immediately.'

'Yes, sir.' The technician nodded and left the office. General Hammond had every intention of telling them what was on the line. Although it was only a couple of phone calls now, it could very easily escalate.

So deep was he in thought that he didn't hear the knock on his door.

'Sir?'

'Is he asleep?'

'Don't be ridiculous, Carter.'

'Come in!' General Hammond called, sitting straighter. Jack opened the door and pushed it open, Sam following him. 

'What's this all about, sir?' Jack asked him.

'Have a seat, Jack, and I'll tell you.' Exchanging a glance with Sam, Jack took a seat. Sam sat down next to him, face deceptively calm. 'I've just received a call from Senator Kinsey. Seems you've been calling his office, leaving threatening messages.' Sam closed her eyes and leant back, shaking her head slightly. Jack noticed this, and faced the General.

'I just wanted him to know what I thought.'

'That's fair enough, Jack, but there's a lot at stake here.'

'General, do you know what Kinsey told me? He told me, once he finally talked to me, that he was determined to split SG-1 up if he saw the need to. I told him what I thought, and he calls that threatening? I did no other threatening, I just asked to talk to Kinsey.' He paused a second. 'What's Carter got to do with this?'

'Colonel, there's a lot on the line, here. Kinsey has just told me that if, after a meeting with you and the rest of SG-1 tomorrow, any of this continues, Major Carter will be out of the SGC. Or at least out of SG-1. I got the impression that if that fails, Daniel Jackson will be out as well.'

'What?' Sam and Jack said in unison, both sitting up straighter in their seats.

'He knows what he's doing, Colonel. He knows that you wouldn't jeorpadise a team-mate's career.' The General paused, then continued. 'He told me not to tell you, Colonel, so I expect you both to act surprised tomorrow.' The General stood up. 'I'm not going to mention any more of the phone calls, Colonel, because I believe you when you say you didn't threaten them any of the other times. But Kinsey has contacts.' Apparently they were dismissed, because the General didn't go to any more. They left his office slowly.

'Can you believe that?' Jack was fuming. 'I sure as hell don't!'

'I know,' Sam muttered. 'It's my career on the line, here, and I haven't even done anything.'

'I'm sorry, Carter, I wasn't expecting Kinsey to pull a stunt like this. Although, considering his past threats, I'm not all _that _surprised.' 

'What are you going to do?' Sam asked him tentatively.

'Oh, I'm going to play good little boy,' Jack said sarcastically, walking away. 'Just wait.' Sam felt like running after him and bashing him over the head. It was her career. If he played up, she'd be paying for it. But screaming and hitting him over the head wasn't going to gain anything. General Hammond wouldn't really split them up...would he?

'Major?' The technician came over. 'We've been wondering when you'd be back, the program's nearly back online. But SG-14 are due off-world in half an hour. The rate we're going, it'll be another hour.' Sam nodded, still slightly in a daze. 

'Yeah, sure, let's have a look.' She walked into the control room, sitting herself back down in front of the computers and setting herself up for another half hour of staring at a computer screen and having people hover around, adding useless bits of information here and there.

***

'Are you serious?' Jack paced in front of Daniel, who was seated at his desk, translations in front of him. 'He actually threatened to kick Sam out of SG-1 if you do anything wrong?'

'Apparently. You'd be next.' Daniel raised his eyebrows in surprise.

'That's kind of drastic.'

'I can't help but think there's something more behind this.' Jack kicked at the side of the doorway. 'You know what I mean? Something seems over the top, I can't place it.'

'Just act...civil, and then try and forget about it. If Kinsey can't fault SG-1, then nothing can happen.'

'Yeah, but you remembe when he wanted to shut down the program years ago? He picked holes and twisted our arguments. Plus he has all the power.'

'Not all the power, Jack,' Daniel said mildly, not looking up. 'Just some of it.'

'If only we could do something to interrupt the meeting, something long term, then he wouldn't have the chance to talk and judge.' Jack's eyes suddenly lit up. 'Daniel...'

'Jack, I am not doing a single thing. What do you want me to do, trip over my crutches and break my leg? You do want SG-1 to go off-world sometime in the next six months, don't you?'

'I didn't actually think of that, I was thinking more along the lines of an off-world activation.'

'Jack, we have done our share of opening and going through the 'gate against orders. I don't think I can take the stress of gassing the guards and all that.'

'Since when do we gas guards? We have a signature, Daniel, we lock everyone out.' Daniel shook his head.

'Kind of sad we have an 'open the 'gate and get through without getting shot dead by guards desperate to stop us' signature,' he commented. 'So if you weren't thinking of me breaking my leg, what were you thinking? Apart from an off-world activation?'

'I was just thinking of the off-world activation.'

'Please tell me you have a Plan B.'

'Let me explain Plan A, Mr Optimist,' Jack said sarcastically. 'We somehow get word to the Tok'ra. Jacob, someone friendly.'

'Freya?' Daniel suggested.

'Someone _friendly_,' Jack repeated. 'We tell them we need them to 'gate through at a certain time tomorrow. They 'gate through, meeting with Kinsey cancelled, mission completed.' Daniel just stared at him.

'Jack, there must be an easier way. How on earth are we going to contact the Tok'ra through a heavily guarded 'gate?'

'I don't know, get Carter to say...'

'I thought you said it was her career on the line,' Daniel reminded him.

'Okay, so I make up some kind of excuse to call them.'

'But you hate them! Well, you don't like them, anyway.'

'Exactly. So that's why Carter...you.' Jack stared at him as if he were seeing him for the first time. 'You can say you need to contact them to...I don't know...translate or something.' Daniel was skeptical. Daniel was more than skeptical. He was downright 'no way'. 'Would you rather get grilled by Kinsey and have SG-1 broken up?'

'Jack, you don't even know he'll break us up.' 

'Daniel, I heard the man, he was definitely going to.'

'Jack, if we get caught, we are going to be broken up.'

'If we don't do it, we're going to be broken up.' Daniel sighed, then took off his glasses and cleaned them. Jack hated it when he did that. It meant he was thinking and it would take a long time.

'Alright, at least talk to Sam and Teal'c about it,' Daniel told him, wondering why, as he was answering, that Jack was asking for his permission. 'For the record, I still think you're over-reacting and that nothing will come of the meeting tomorrow. SG-1 hasn't done anything wrong.' Jack didn't say anything, picking up artifacts here and there, only to have Daniel snatch them back. 'Thanks.'

'Daniel, I know how Kinsey works. He'll make up some reason and we'll be...'

'Knock knock.' Jack and Daniel looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway, looking alarmed.

'What's wrong, Carter?' Jack asked her. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

'I just overheard General Hammond on the phone,' she told them. 'I was waiting to go in his office. The phone rang, and he said something along the lines of, 'What do you want now Kinsey?'' She paused, collecting her thoughts.

'Spit it out, Carter.'

'Kinsey must have talked for a while, because General Hammond finally said, 'I will not have you break up my finest team. Without them we'd all be lost to the Goa'uld.' He kept on, saying that socialising a little couldn't be considered a crime. Kinsey must have dug up something, because the General suddenly went, 'Are you sure? I don't believe he'd do that.'' 

'Well, that puts you in the clear.' Jack scowled. He was sick of being blamed for everything, even though it was his fault. Sam just made a face.

'I'm not so sure. Sir, we've done something to really stuff Kinsey up, and I can't think of what that something is.'

'I stand by the fact we got rid of Bauer,' Jack said. 'Daniel?'

'I still can't believe...'

'What does it take you to believe anything? You seem to just float along asking questions and not taking in any answers leading to more questions! It's like that...snake thing eating its own tail, you know?' There was a silence.

'Here we speak english, Jack,' Daniel said finally. 'And if your talking about the eternity snake, it has nothing to do with this.'

'Well, you know.'

'Why don't you tell Sam about your brilliant idea to get us all kicked out?'

'Hey! Don't knock Plan A,' Jack warned.

'Plan A?' Sam looked confused. 'Kicked out?'

'Basically, it's a plan to interrupt our meeting with Kinsey tomorrow. I say we get a message to the Tok'ra sometime, and get them to come through at a certain time tomorrow...so the meeting is disturbed.' Sam looked doubtful.

'Kind of drastic, isn't it, sir?'

'That's what I said,' Daniel said, sounding sidetracked. 'But he wouldn't believe me.' 

'There's always the risk that we're completely off the mark,' Sam said. 'I think we should just go through the meeting with Kinsey and hope for the best. Just play it by ear.' Jack scowled but said nothing.

'Did I mention Plan B?' 

'You don't have a Plan B.'

'I do now.' Jack started grinning. 'And the more I think about it, the more I like it.'

'What are you going to do?'

'What?' Sam and Daniel exchanged glances. When Jack got in this mood, as he had at lunch, questioning him would lead only to anger, annoyance and possible violent actions that could lead to court martials. 

'Well, I sincerely hope you don't do anything to destroy my career.' Sam nodded. 'I'm heading off back to the laboratory. Daniel, have fun translating.'

'Mm hmm. See you later, Sam.'

'Bye Carter.'

'Bye sir.' She left, shaking her head as she walked away. She was worried. She was nervous. She was just about ready to pray that Jack wouldn't do anything to jeopardise SG-1. 

'JACK!' Jack came walking quickly down the corridor, meeting Sam at the elevator. Turning behind her, she saw Daniel racing after them...on crutches, which slowed his progress immensely. The elevator opened and Jack leapt in. Sam followed him, and he pressed the button for the level he wanted, the door closing just as Daniel reached it.

'I'm not even going to ask.'

'But you want to know, right?' 

'I'm not going to ask.'

'Why's Daniel so annoyed, I wonder?'

'Sir...'

'Carter, everyone around here needs to loosen up.' He tossed an artifact into the air, catching it easily. 'Especially Daniel.' 

'And he's going to loosen up by you stealing his artifacts?' 

'Carter...' The elevator reached Jack's floor and he got out. 'You have a lot to learn.' Sam didn't reply, just waved a hand in good-bye as the doors closed.

'That's the first time I've been told I need to know more by Colonel O'Neill,' she mused. 'I need to warn the airmen on the surface. The sky must be falling.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks again for reading! I'm not really *that* happy with this chapter, but oh well. I hope the next chapter will be up as quickly (if I may use that word!), but I doubt it...I've got assignments piled up, and they happen to come first! (I really need to check my priorities list, there's something wrong there...)

Aimme, I still can't work out how you can hate The X-Files (gasp!) yet love X-Files fanfiction. The mind boggles.

Cheers and MORE chocolate chip cookies! (watch out for those choc chips! Or chic chops, lol!)

Jolinar of Malkshur


	3. Day Three, Part One: Wednesday

Thanks again to all those reviewers (decidedly repetitive, aren't I?) We're getting there...at the half-way mark of the weekdays! 

Lol to whoever mentioned Daniel needs more coffee! I'll see if I can arrange that! :D 

DAY THREE, PART ONE: WEDNESDAY

'You really should calm down.'

'I can't calm down, I'm too worried.' Sam paced around Daniel's office, which was where she seemed to spending a lot of her time. Although Daniel was basically on his feet again, he was snowed under with filing.

'Hey, I'm worried, too.'

'Aren't you confused that the Colonel's giving Kinsey the so-called fifty cent tour?' Sam asked, stopping her pacing for a moment to see Daniel's reaction. He nodded.

'Yeah, that's strange. I wouldn't be surprised if he called it the fifty dollar tour, though, and actually charged Kinsey for it.' Sam had to smile. Daniel saw it and gave a half grin. 'Don't look so amused, he'd probably do it, too.'

'So, did the Colonel ever tell you Plan B?' Sam asked, stopping her pacing to face Daniel. Daniel shook his head, walking with a limp over to the bookcase. 

'No, he didn't.' Daniel paused. 'He gave me back my artifact, though.'

'Well, that's something,' Sam commented. Silence met that statement. 'Daniel? You don't seem happy about this.'

'Oh, I am happy about it, I'm just worried about Plan B.'

'All things considered, I was more worried about Plan A.' Sam grimaced. She never, *ever* wanted to repeat the process of going through the 'gate without permission. If she ever did it again, she'd have an ulcer before her next birthday. 

'Yes, but we knew Plan A,' Daniel argued mildly, sitting back down again with a book on latin placed in front of him. 'Plan B we know nothing about and is probably being carried out right now.' This was enough for Sam to looked panicked for a second, but then she relaxed.

'We're just all worked up because Kinsey's here,' she said animatedly. 'Once this meeting's over, we'll be able to relax and get back to our usual state of...' 

'State of?' Daniel asked as she trailed off.

'What? Sorry, got sidetracked there. Usual state of work, you know.'

'I can't wait until this week is over,' Daniel commented, rubbing his eyes. 'That's when Janet says my ankle should be properly better.'

'Personally, I can't wait until everything's back to normal here,' Sam told him. 'Is it just me, or does everything seem...off?' Daniel thought for a moment.

'It always seems strange when there's a strange person in the mountain. Like when Major Davis is here, or Kinsey, in this example.' Sam shook her head.

'It's probably just us being paranoid,' she decided aloud. She checked her watch. 'Well, the meeting's not for a couple of hours, I'll just head to the laboratory and do some work. Meet you...?'

'Outside the laboratory,' Daniel said. 'It's closer to the briefing room.' Sam nodded and left, walking calmly down the hallway. At least, on the outside she looked calm. On the inside she was stressing and probably blowing everything out of proportion. But she couldn't help that annoying little question. What if...?

Upon reaching the laboratory, she saw all the planet reports and papers regarding the device waiting for her.

'Why can't somebody else do this?' she grumbled, flicking through the manila folders, each with information on a different planet. 'No...no...no...no...' She couldn't find the one the device had come from, and it was turning into a royal...

'Did you say something, ma'am?' Sam turned towards the doorway, where one of the lab. assistants was standing, looking worried.

'No, just talking to myself.' The lab. assistant didn't look any less worried, so Sam decided a change of subject was in order. 'Would you happen to have the mission report for P4C-510?' The assistant shook her head, finally stepping into the laboratory.

'Quite a few mission reports have been taken to General Hammond's office.'

'But I haven't entered all the information into the computers!' Sam said, more to herself than to the assistant. 'Who took them down there?' But the assistant just shrugged, placing a folder on the desk. 

'This is from SG-13,' she said. 'They returned yesterday, I believe. Found some kind of chemical in the soil.'

'Are there any samples?' The assistant checked a note she had in another folder in her hand.

'Yes, a small sample, that was brought to the lab. yesterday,' she told Sam, looking around. 'I believe that while you were in Dr Jackson's office a couple of people analysed the sample.'

'And I'm left with the official records?' Sam asked. 'Entering the data into the computer?' The assistant nodded.

'Sorry, Major, if this is inconvenient. If you like, next time we'll let...' Sam shook her head, waving a hand.

'No, no, I'm not annoyed, I'm just inquiring.' She smiled encouragingly. 'It's fine, I was just wondering.' The assistant nodded, then looked towards the door.

'I need to be...'

'Go ahead, I'll be a while here,' Sam told her. 

'Thank you, Major.' The assistant turned and left, and Sam picked up the folder she'd been given. Okay, so putting information in a computer wasn't the most thrilling thing to do to pass time, but she'd do it. After all, it had to be done. And if it had to be done, then she wasn't about to say no.

***

'I believe you are incorrect.'

'Mr Teal'c, you are not permitted to take this weapon out unless authorised by personnel.' The technician was quite adamant. Teal'c was not impressed.

'I will require this weapon. I do not understand why you do not hand it over.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but the zat guns are to be locked up unless authorised by a...'

'I have you heard you say that many times, but I still do not believe it.'

'Look, I'm going to have to call someone if you don't let this up,' the technician warned. They were in armoury, and Teal'c was attempting to get a zat'nika'tel to have during the meeting with Kinsey. Colonel O'Neill had jokingly suggested it, but the more Teal'c thought about it, the more he thought it would be a good idea. He didn't trust Kinsey, and would feel better if he had some sort of weapon against him. Unfortunately, the technician in armoury was making this quite difficult.

'I am not going to leave.' The technician glared at Teal'c, then reached for the phone. Teal'c remained where he was, the calm look that was ever-present on his face not wavering once. 

'Can Colonel O'Neill please come to armoury?' the technician asked, keeping a close eye on Teal'c. If he turned his back, he knew the Jaffa would probably just grab a zat and leave. 'Oh, is he? Ah...okay, Major Carter, is she busy?' There was another silence. 'Thank you, this is much appreciated.' The technician hung up the phone. 'Major Carter's on her way.'

'As I am aware,' Teal'c said in a voice that people save for when talking to idiots. The technician scowled at the condescending tone but didn't say anything. 

They stood in silence for a couple of minutes until Sam walked through the door.

'What's going on?' she asked, looking confused. 'Teal'c?'

'I'm sorry if I interrupted you, Major, but Teal'c doesn't seem to understand that he can't take a weapon.' A surprised look appeared on Sam's face.

'Teal'c? What do you want a weapon for, we're not going anywhere.'

'I believe I will need it for the meeting with Senator Kinsey,' he said, holding his head slightly higher. 'I do not believe he is to be trusted.'

'That may be so, Teal'c, but I don't think we'll need weapons against him,' Sam offered. 'After all, General Hammond will be there, and all the people outside the door.' Teal'c bowed his head to one side.

'But Kinsey is not to be trusted. If he was to be faced with a weapon, he may co-operate.' Silence met this. Realisation seemed to suddenly hit Sam.

'Has Colonel O'Neill been talking to you?' she asked. Teal'c looked at her.

'Yes he has,' he replied. 'He was the one who suggested I carry a weapon.' Sam shook her head.

'That was a joke, Teal'c, he didn't mean it.'

'As he explained,' Teal'c told her. 'But after consideration I believe it would be wise if one of us was to carry a zat'nika'tel.' Sam didn't know what to say to that. 'The technician here tells me I must have the permission of authorised personnel.' 

'Teal'c, if he knows you're carrying a weapon, the entire outcome of this meeting could change,' Sam told him. 'I think we've got to be careful of what we say and do from now on in Kinsey's presence. If one of us carries a weapon, he'll know we don't trust him, and be more determined than ever to break us up.' Teal'c didn't say anything, but turned to the technician.

'I will no longer argue with you,' he said simply. He turned and bowed his head slightly at Sam, before leaving the room, obviously not happy. Sam let out a breath. She gave the quite startled technician a small smile before also leaving armoury, feeling only temporary relief. That was *one* hurdle out of many. She just wished this whole meeting with Kinsey had never been organised! It was way more trouble than it was worth.

That was something else, she realised as she headed along the corridor, nodding to the appropriate people as she passed. Colonel O'Neill hadn't been seen all morning, and he'd been giving Kinsey the grand tour. She tried to ignore her instincts, which were telling her this was strange.

'Get some sleep,' she muttered to herself. 

'I'm sorry, ma'am, did you say something?' *Why do I always talk to myself when people are around?* Sam inwardly berated herself, while on the outside she smiled at the lieutenant.

'No,' she replied. 'Just ta...you must be hearing things.' Before the lieutenant could argue with her, she saw Jack coming down the hallway. 'Colonel!' She left the quite bewildered lieutenant behind her and nodded at her CO. 'Where've you been all morning?' He was in his uniform, a small smile on his face.

'Giving Kinsey the grand tour, Carter, I thought Daniel would have told you that.'

'As a matter of fact, he did,' she replied, falling in step beside him. 'What time's the meeting scheduled for?'

'Ten-thirty hours,' he told her, checking his watch. 'You have an hour to get into uniform.' Then he took a double take, as if seeing her for the first time. 'Whoa, what are you doing down here?'

'Teal'c was causing problems,' she told him. 'Wanted to take a weapon from armoury into the meeting.'

'Weapon?'

'Zat.' Jack rolled his eyes. 

'Wish I'd thought of that.'

'As a matter of fact, you did.'

'He didn't take that seriously, did he?'

'How else would he take it?'

'Oh, I don't know!' Jack shook his head, then shrugged. 'Oh, well. It'd serve Kinsey right if he got zatted.'

'Where is he now?'

'Oh, with Hammond or something.' 

'There's always an 'or something', isn't there, sir?' Sam noted, grinning slightly so he'd know she was kidding.

'Carter, where there's a...damn.' She shook her head, grinning properly. 'Should've thought ahead.'

'Yes, I imagine you've said that to yourself on many occasions.' She jumped into the elevator before he could say anything. Once the doors closed, he stared at them for a second. 

'I really should court-martial her, one day,' he muttered.

***

'Jack, if you tug at your tie one more time...'

'Daniel, if you say that one more time, you'll no longer have the capacity to warn me about tugging my tie one more time.'

'If I no longer have the capacity to warn you about tugging your tie, you'll no longer have the capacity to tell me I'll no longer have the capacity to warn you about tugging your tie.' Silence met this.

'Yes, well, now we've got that sorted,' Jack said, clearing his throat. 'What's happening?' SG-1 were all assembled in their usual seats in the briefing room. Daniel was by the window, staring out at the Stargate. Jack was sitting next to Teal'c, and Sam was sitting opposite him. 

'Not a whole lot.'

'Teal'c, you didn't bring...?'

'I did not. I was advised against it.'

'Yeah? By who?'

'Major Carter.'

'Carter? Future in diplomacy?' She gave him a 'don't go there' look and he immediately backed off. Daniel was amused. He loved it when that happened, Jack had no idea how amusing it was. 

'I am still unsure as to why...' The door to the room opened, and everyone looked towards it. Kinsey and General Hammond walked through. There seemed to be an unsaid agreement amongst SG-1, as none of them stood up...except for Daniel, who was already standing up, but he leant back, trying to look casual. Which was easy for him. General Hammond noted this, and realised Kinsey was going to have an even tougher time than was expected. Kinsey glared at them all.

'Please have a seat, Dr Jackson.' Daniel didn't move. 

'Dr Jackson,' General Hammond said warningly. Daniel moved slowly to his seat, sitting down and exchanging a glance with Sam. 

'Now, I think we all know why we're here...'

'I'm not sure about the rest of my team, but I'd like a quick run-through.' Kinsey, at the head of the table alongside General Hammond, didn't look impressed. 'For old time's sake.'

'It is believed that socialising during work-time can destroy team dynamic during...' He trailed off suddenly, his attention wavering. No one said anything for a time.

'Kinsey?' General Hammond said finally, and he jumped out of his reverie.

'Sorry, where was I?' He coughed. 'Ah, socialising during work-time can destroy team dynamic during missions off-world...had many off-world missions lately, Major?' Sam looked up sharply.

'No more than any of the others,' she replied carefully. 'Why do you ask?'

'Just wondering...' He seemed on the brink of day-dreaming, then snapped himself out of it. 'This is, of course, reason for concern, as it means work would not be done to a suitable standard.'

'Refresh our memories, what is a suitable standard?' Jack asked casually. Kinsey gave him a sharp look, and Jack noted he was starting to wring his hands. He was actually wringing his hands. 'Just for old time's sake.' General Hammond glared at him, but Kinsey didn't seem to mind.

'Oh, in on time, Colonel, we'll settle at that for your work.' Kinsey was out of his day-dreamy state for a moment, then seemed to fall back into it. 

'Permission to pass copy of suitable work to Colonel O'Neill as an example?' Sam asked suddenly. General Hammond nodded, and she passed her folder across. Taking it, Jack saw a note pinned in it. Just a simple note.

*'What the hell did you DO?!'* 

Hiding a grin, he studied the folder for a few more minutes. 

'I see, Major, but wouldn't there have to be...' He scribbled on it for a few seconds, then nodded. 'I think that's satisfactory work.' Daniel watched the whole exchange with interest, having seen the note Sam had written extremely subtly. 'Sorry, just had to know.' He passed the folder back.

*'Suspicious much?'* 

'Right,' Sam said, nodding slowly. 'Sorry I missed that.' 

'May we continue with the proceedings?' Kinsey asked.

'Oh, for crying out loud! It isn't a court-case, Kinsey!'

'Colonel, if you're not careful...you understand the consequences.'

'Oh, absolutely.' Sam and Daniel both sent him warning looks.

'O'Neill, if I had...'

'No, Teal'c.'

'Very well. But it would have been a very successful means.'

'Trying to stay away from...'

'If the meeting could continue,' General Hammond said firmly. 

'Yes. I believe Kinsey was saying how well SG-1 work together on missions and on the base,' Sam said, and everyone seemed to hold their breath. Sure, Kinsey was out of it, but would he buy it?

'Was I? Ah, certainly Major...are you sure?' Kinsey asked her, desperately trying to remember. 

'Yes, I'm sure,' Sam said, trying not to sound overly confident. 

'You were also congratulating us on our mission reports,' Daniel added. 'How they're on time. Well, except for Jack's.'

'Oh, you had to say that, didn't you?' Jack muttered. General Hammond scrutinised them all for a moment, then stood up. 

'Senator, could I ask you to wait outside while I speak with SG-1 for a moment?' he said, and they could all sense his underlying anger. Sam was already flinching before he'd even closed the door behind Kinsey.

'What are you playing at? That's Senator Kinsey, in case you hadn't realised! If you'd just acted as you would for these types of meetings, there would be no problems!'

'Sir...'

'I don't want to hear it, Major. I want you all to stop this ridiculous act this instant. Do not take advantage of Senator Kinsey, and act like proper adults!' Silence met this.

'So if I were to ask him...'

'Do you want Major Carter to lose her job, Colonel?' Jack looked at Sam for a second, then turned back to Hammond.

'No, sir.'

'Good.' Without another word, General Hammond went back to fetch Kinsey, and the meeting resumed. In his absence, Kinsey had seemed to improve. His 'hand-wringing' had stopped, and he didn't look so nervous. But within five minutes, it was all back.

'I'm concerned about the time spent socialising. This is not a social place. If you are fraternising in your spare time, then it is a court-martial offence.'

'But we're not fraternising,' Sam told him. Kinsey turned to her, and she suddenly realised he was unable to meet her eye.

'That's fair enough, Major. I don't believe you'd...have you had your hair cut?' Had she had her...

Oh, God.

Oh, absolute *hell!* 

Barely containing her anger, Sam replied calmly,

'No, I have not.' As she was opposite Jack, she felt free to give him a sharp kick. He winced slightly, and didn't dare meet her gaze. 

'New conditioner?' he asked her weakly. 

'Your hair does look nice, Major.' Kinsey even managed a small smile. Sam didn't reply, she just continued shooting daggers at Jack. Teal'c raised his eyebrows, recognising Kinsey's behaviour. Daniel just rubbed his eyes, shaking his head, trying to be subtle at the same time. General Hammond hadn't seemed to have noticed anything yet. Which was strange in itself. 

'You were saying?' Daniel said, trying to distract Sam so that Jack wouldn't end up a cringing shadow on the ground. 

'I was saying...are those new earrings?' Sam raised her hand to her ears, confused, her anger nearly reaching as high as it could go before exploding. General Hammond must have finally noticed something, because he also stared at Jack. 

'Fraternising,' he reminded Kinsey.

'Ah, yes, too much fraternising.' Okay, now he couldn't even look Sam in the eye. *How long will it take General Hammond to realise?* Daniel thought to himself, surverying the whole scene with a due sense of dread. 'This can be bad for team dynamic...not that I can see a problem with the Major's team. Did you dye your hair? You must have done something, it looks lovely.' Jack coughed slightly, catching Daniel's eye and grinning through his fingers, which covered his mouth. 

'I have not done anything to my hair...General.' Sam stood up, and General Hammond nodded.

'This meeting is adjourned until...'

'Have you had your uniform dry-cleaned? It's a very nice uniform, isn't it, Major?'

'Call the infirmary!' General Hammond ordered loudly to anyone outside the door who may be listening.

'Why the infirmary? Is that where the Major got her hair done?' 

'No, I have not done anything to my hair,' Sam snapped, reaching the end of her patience. 'But do ask the Colonel where he's gone in the past to be decapitated. And if he has their number, and if they work on Wednesdays.' No one, except Kinsey and possibly Teal'c, missed the tone in Sam's voice, and Daniel flinched slightly.

'Nowhere special, Carter,' Jack replied. 'Just a little place that has half-price weekdays.' 

'How convenient.' Dr Fraiser and a couple of nurses finally arrived. There was a knock at the door.

'Sir?'

'Come in, doctor.' She entered with the nurses. 

'What seems to be the problem?'

'Major Carter has new earrings,' Kinsey told her. There was a momentary look of shock on Janet's face, until she recovered and took his arm.

'Shall we go to the infirmary? There are a couple of things that need to be checked,' she told him.

'Do you work there? Your hair looks nice. Suits your uniform.' Janet looked around at them.

'I'll take him to the infirmary, and report back later,' she told General Hammond, who just nodded and waved her off, listening to Kinsey compliment her, the nurses and especially, Major Carter. 

Once she'd left, he turned back to SG-1, his anger apparent.

'Once you've sorted this out amongst yourselves, I will come back. And see which one of you is mature enough to tell me what the HELL is going on here today!' And with that, he left the briefing room, the door slamming behind him. There was enough silence to hear the door to his office slamming as well. SG-1, now standing, all looked at each other.

'What. Did. You. Do?' Sam asked slowly and carefully, her hands in clenched fists. 'And why the hell did you do it?'

'Come on, Carter, what were you going to do to help today?'

'Gee, I don't know!' She exploded. 'I certainly wasn't going to expose him to that...to that device! What was that possibly going to achieve? We don't know the long-term effects! For all we know, people could drop dead ten days after being exposed!'

'Still failing to see the problem here,' Jack muttered. Unfortunately, Sam heard it.

'Failing to see the problem? Do we have to hit you over the head for you to understand!' 

'I don't know, maybe you should try it!' Jack shouted back at her. 'We all know you're way smarter than everyone, what else do you expect us little people to do? Bow down to you?'

'Excu-use me?!'

'Listen, Major, this meeting was only going to go downhill from the start. When you're down, you can very easily pick up a shovel and dig. And believe me, Kinsey was going to get some serious digging done. He reads every mission report, I've been told. Straight from the horse's mouth. Sooner or later he'd find something. This meeting had to be stopped no matter what.'

'I thought making things difficult would just make him give up,' Daniel said.

'Stay out of this, Daniel,' Sam snapped. 'I may as well go pack my bags now, shall I? I'm out of the SGC, now. Thank you so much, Colonel.'

'Hey!' Jack slammed a fist onto the table. 'Look at those people in the infirmary. None of them remembered a single thing from when they were all 'ga-ga'.'

'Oh, Kinsey just wakes up in our infirmary, great. How do we explain that? He tripped and fell?' 

'I don't know! I hadn't thought that far ahead!'

'Again!'

'Um, hello?' Daniel said, interrupting. 'Have I missed something really important here?'

'No, Daniel, it's just the Colonel being more worried about his career than anyone else's.' Sam turned to leave.

'Major Carter, you move one more step, I swear, I will have you court-martialled!' He didn't use that extreme commanding tone very often, but when he did, Sam had no choice but to listen. She turned back.

'Yes?' Her voice was frosty.

'I believe that O'Neill was correct in the actions he took,' Teal'c said. 

'Please take no offence, Teal'c, but I do not want to hear that,' Sam said through gritted teeth.

'Carter, you understand we were all in serious trouble, right?' Jack asked her.

'Yes. But exposing him to...' She shook her head, so furious all she could do was sit down and try and control her anger and 'harm Colonel O'Neill severely' reflex.

'You alright?'

'I'm only more furious than I've ever been in my life, I'm fine.'

'Yeah, me too. Yelling at people has that affect.' Sam had to smile slightly at that, although she hated herself for it. She was still angry, angry beyond belief. She just wanted to punch him right in the no...

The door to the briefing room opened, and as if it had been rehearsed, SG-1 all looked towards it. General Hammond walked through. 

'That didn't take long,' Jack commented, but General Hammond held his hand up.

'None of you speak.' Dead silence. 'Wow, you actually followed orders. Sure you're not the robots?' Sarcastic General Hammond. Uh oh.

'They're...'

'I am absolutely shocked, dismayed and horrified about what has happened today. By all of you.'

'All of...'

'What happened to none of you speaking?' No one said a word, they just exchanged glances. 'Except for Dr Jackson, you have all broke rules and created difficulties for others.' He took a deep breath. 'Shall I list them? I'll start with Teal'c, since it's minor. Namely, trying to get a weapon out of armoury. Teal'c, this is a high security meeting, we do not need weapons.'

'On the contrary, General Hammond. I believe that...'

'Major Carter. I still do not know whether you have anything to do with Kinsey yet, but I intend to investigate. Also, this impromptu shouting match with Colonel O'Neill. Unprofessional, unneccassary and disgraceful.' Sam didn't say anything, she just glared at Jack. 'Colonel O'Neill. Exposing Kinsey to the device, endangering the whole base by doing so. Engaging in an impromptu 'shouting match' of sorts with Major Carter. Leading the shocking behaviour exhibited by SG-1, minus Teal'c, this morning.' The General paused. 'I don't quite know what to do, I'm simply too angry to think properly.' 

'Sir, I would like to apologise for my behaviour in the meeting today,' Daniel said finally. 'But I really do believe that...'

'What do you believe?' General Hammond's gaze was enough to make Daniel back down. 

'Nothing.'

'I think on behalf of SG-1, I'd like to apologise,' Jack offered, determined to give it even if the General didn't take it. 'But we were just concerned for the team.'

'No, you were concerned for the team, and they followed.'

'With all due respect, sir, we did think for ourselves,' Sam added. 'Colonel O'Neill did not affect *our* behaviour in any way.' Jack didn't miss the dig she shot his way, nor did anyone else in the room.

'And it wasn't really planned, how we acted, just sort of unanimously decided amongst ourselves.'

'I too agree with Daniel Jackson, and understand the wrongness of our actions,' Teal'c said. He bowed his head. 'I apologise.' General Hammond just stared at all of them.

'Don't even think I'm anywhere near forgiving any of you,' he said sternly. 'I am so angry I don't want any more to do with any of you for today. Or the rest of the week. The meeting with Kinsey will go ahead, don't you worry about that. Dismissed.' No one moved. 'Dismissed! NOW!' They all jumped into action, heading for the door.

***

Jack slammed a folder on his desk, glaring at the opposite wall. This was bad. This was very bad. It had all gone spectacularly ba...well, actually. If he was honest with himself, he knew this would happen. Okay, so exposing Kinsey to the device had been stupid, but amusing at the same time. Not that he'd been able to show his amusement, but it had been there. The look on Sam's face when she'd realised had been priceless.

Unfortunately, if he was permitted to be poetic, in a way, for a moment, there was now a very high price on it. General Hammond was so annoyed, he was surely facing a court-martial. Immediate removal from SG-1? Which seemed so ridiculous, when all they'd been trying to do was *save* SG-1. Damned if they did and damned if they didn't. What an annoying little complication.

What had surprised Jack the most, though, was just how damn easy it was to expose Kinsey. I mean, he got into the quarantine easy, with big, powerful (*snort*) Senator Kinsey with him. And getting the device to activate had been slightly tricky. So basically he told Kinsey to have a look and press a couple of buttons to see if the genius could work out how it worked.

'Thank God for stupid people,' Jack muttered to himself, remembering how Kinsey had stood, looking 'important' in the lab. coat, pressing buttons on the device. It had whirred into life, and Kinsey had gotten a good dose of whatever it was before the scientists ran in and dragged him out of there, forgetting their Hazmat gear in the process. Miraculously, the device had turned itself off, and Jack had been yelled at by Kinsey before Kinsey walked into a door when a female officer walked past. 

Jack grinned, remembering. His grin faded as he remembered how everyone was so angry with him. Practically no one was talking to him anymore. And Jack felt like a caged animal in his office.

Daniel. He'd head to Daniel's office. Thankfully, General Hammond had been so furius he hadn't put any restrictions on them yet. Jack grabbed his jacket (he was back in his fatigues) and headed out the door.

Upon reaching Daniel's office, he heard the clinking of a coffee mug. Grinning to himself, he tapped on the door lightly.

'Caffeine kid? Can I come in?' Daniel opened the door, back on his crutches again. He'd braved the meeting without them, but decided his ankle hurt too much.

'Caffeine kid?' he repeated, letting Jack in. 'Don't you think that's slightly...'

'Come on, Danny boy, how many cups?' Daniel only looked slightly guilty as he sat back down again. 

'Since the meeting?' Jack checked his watch.

'An hour, yeah?'

'This is my third.'

'And before the meeting?'

'Two.'

'Daniel?'

'Okay, three.'

'Daniel!'

'Alright, alright, I had five, happy now?' Jack grinned.

'Just making sure you were healthy. Making sure there's not too much blood in your caffeine system.' Daniel just gave him a 'look', and Jack held his hands up.

'Whoa, relax, Daniel.' There was an expectant silence, where Daniel just stared. 'Alright, how's Carter?'

'You're avoiding her, Jack.'

'I am not!'

'You visit her office every hour,' Daniel told him calmly, noting Jack barely contained his shock. How had Daniel...minor detail, he wasn't avoiding her!

'I'm not avoiding her, Daniel, she said she was having a shower and freshening up.'

'She also said she was going to rip you limb from limb. Or send you through to the Tok'ra to live with them for a few months,' Daniel reminded him. 'Not to mention...'

'Okay, Daniel, I heard all her threats,' Jack interrupted. 'You don't need to give me a word by word account of a conversation I was present for.'

'It wasn't really a conversation, it was more...'

'Daniel! Drink your coffee and shut up!' Daniel didn't say any more, taking a sip of coffee and regarding Jack.

'You can't ignore her forever.'

'I am not!'

'You're worried.'

'Yeah, sure.'

'You're worried because she's really annoyed and you know what she's capable of.' Damnit, why did Daniel always hit the nail on the head? It was a really unsavoury habit, Jack decided. And one Daniel should get out of. 

'For your information, Daniel, you are extremely off the mark. You are so off the mark you're on the other side of the universe.'

'Are you sure about that?' he asked. 'Surely you didn't miss the really annoyed expression, understatement, on her face?' How could Jack have missed it, it was aimed right at him!

'Daniel, are you trying to make me feel better? Because, just by the way, it isn't working!' Daniel didn't reply for a moment.

'I'm just saying, be careful.' Jack made a face and left abruptly, storming along because he was angry. How dare Daniel threaten him! Okay, so maybe he wasn't threatening him, but he didn't need to be warned about Carter's attitude. He knew full well she was damn furious with him. It's kind of hard to miss when someone's sending you looks that could make you drop dead on the spot. 

Making it up to his office, he passed Sam outside his doorway.

'Carter, what...' BANG! He went flying into the wall, holding his hands out to prevent himself re-bounding off the wall.

'Oops. Didn't see you, you should be more careful.' Jack looked up and saw a pair of extremely angry blue eyes staring at him. She stormed off down the corridor, and Jack entered the safety of his office, locking the door behind him. One couldn't be too careful.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

I can't believe it, we're already at the end of chapter three!...well, *I'm* happy about it!

Wednesday's turned into a two-parter, because it turned out a LOT longer than I was expecting :D

The next chapter may take a while to be completed, because I've got exams in a couple of weeks...actually, in just over a week, so studying furiously may interrupt my fic-writing time! (I know, I know, priorities!) And mine are way out of whack...but there you go!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed ;) 

Jolinar of Malkshur


	4. Day Three, Part Two: Wednesday

Sorry this has taken so long, I've been working on my Harry Potter fic...but I'm on holidays now, so hopefully chapters will be a lot quicker!

A/N: I saw Amanda Tapping at a convention shortly before I wrote some of this chapter, she's the loveliest person, and such a sense of humour! Anyway, for this reason, I'm really sorry if anything Sam says is more an 'Amanda' comment, as I'm now accustomed to how Amanda Tapping talks, not Sam Carter. Sorry! :D 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

DAY THREE, PART TWO: WEDNESDAY

Okay, anger was an emotion Sam was fully familiar with. She'd been angry at countless people during her life, drawing her weapon on them if they happened to *really* annoy her off-world, like during one of their first missions. And anger at Jack was something she was something she was *very* familiar with. She couldn't even remember all the times she'd wanted to step out of protocol and shout abuse at him, holding her P-90 right at his chest until he agreed with her. But for some reason, things usually turned out alright in the end, and she was glad she'd held her tongue. Occasionally it went bad, but usually it was alright. Usually.

Anger, Sam thought to herself as she glared at the computer screen, is a very unsettling emotion. Mainly because she didn't feel very in control, and if there was one thing she hated, it was being out of control. So there came the anger again. A vicious circle she couldn't break out of. 

Right at that moment, if he'd walked in the door, she would probably hit him. A part of her told her the situation had been partly amusing, and she was glad the meeting had come to a screeching halt. But the stronger part was screaming, 'You're going to be let go from the SGC and it's *his* fault!' 

And the worst part of the whole thing was that she didn't *really* hate him. She couldn't. You just can't hate someone who has saved your life countless times. You can't just throw that out a window. 

So hate was out. But revenge was in.

There was a light tap on the door.

'Sam?' 

'Come in, Daniel,' she said, and heard the door open behind her. Suddenly remembering he was in crutches, Sam jumped to her feet and turned to help him. But he was already inside, the door partly open behind him. 'Sorry, I should have helped.'

'No, I'm fine,' Daniel told her, giving a half-smile. 'I'm coping, but after all this practice using crutches, I just can't wait until they're gone. That way Jack can stop partly tripping me up as we're walking.' Sam frowned, and she saw Daniel inwardly kick himself. 'Probably shouldn't have mentioned that at the moment, huh?'

'From now on, I really don't care,' Sam told him, sitting back down and facing him. 'Take a seat.' Daniel sat down carefully, placing the crutches beside him. There was an expectant silence. 'So?'

'So.' Daniel took a deep breath. _Wait for it, _Sam thought to herself. 'Has Jack visited you yet?'

'And why would he do that?' Sam asked carefully. 'I don't believe he's called any sort of impromptu meeting.'

'Well, I was just wondering, because...'

'Because why?' Sam was impatient but Daniel refused to un-nerved. Compared to the difficult aliens he'd encountered on other planets, Sam was alright. 'You think I've already cut him up and shoved him in a cupboard somewhere?' Daniel winced slightly, realising he was getting the 'lash-out' effect of Sam's anger. 'Don't worry, I have a little more class than that.'

'Oh, that's...fine, it's all fine.' Daniel was stammering, losing his nerve all of the sudden. 'It's just...is he avoiding you?'

'I'm not sure of his motives anymore, Daniel,' Sam told him calmly. 'If you want the inner workings of Jack O'Neill, you'll have to ask him yourself.' Daniel decided to change tack.

'Where were you at lunch? Teal'c and I were the only two from SG-1 in the commissary.' Sam just shrugged.

'I wasn't really hungry, plus I was too busy.' Daniel nodded.

'Yeah, I understand that. Don't starve yourself, though.'

'It's just lunch, Daniel, I'm sure I'll cope.' Sam looked to the side of the room for a moment, then turned her attention back to Daniel. 'So, why did you really come here?' Daniel tried to look surprised.

'Can't you just accept that I wanted to visit? I do visit and talk with you sometimes,' he said. Sam just continued staring. He hated the way she did that, there was no lying to Major Samantha Carter. 'Okay, I wanted to see if you were ignoring Jack. Or if he was avoiding you. I mean, considering the circumstances, is that so wrong?' The minute the words were out of his mouth Daniel regretted them. 'I mean, it's just that...' 

'Daniel, as much as I really want to continue this conversation, I have work to do,' Sam interrupted, getting to her feet. Her tone was final, and Daniel realised talking to her any longer was going to be fruitless. 

'For what it's worth, Kinsey will forget,' Daniel pointed out, getting to his feet slowly. 'It may not seem it now, but I think Jack did the right thing.' Sam didn't reply, merely looking at the door, then back at Daniel. Daniel just smiled grimly to himself and headed towards the door, taking the hint. 'Don't mention this to Jack, will you?'

'I'll try and contain myself.' Sam stared as Daniel left the lab., closing the door behind him carefully. Turning back to her computer, she sat down and rubbed her face with her hands. She was a whole bundle of conflicting emotions...anger, unhappiness, slight amusement, guilt... She looked up, remembering the whole situation. A smile slowly appeared on her face.

Revenge was definitely in.

***

Jack paced around his office, throwing and bouncing a tennis ball as he paced. He was extremely impatient, and full of energy. His energy had to be directed somewhere. A knock at the door interrupted his pacing, and he called,

'Yeah?' 

'It's me.' Rolling his eyes, Jack went over to the door and opened it. 

'Daniel, what a surprise. To what do I owe this visit?' Daniel just tried to push past him, no easy feat in crutches, and Jack watched in amusement before stepping aside, causing Daniel to nearly lose his balance. 

'Thanks Jack,' Daniel muttered, turning to face him. 'She's mad, Jack.'

'Don't tell me Janet's gone crazy already? I _knew _giving too many needles to people is hazardous to your health.' Daniel ignored Jack's sarcasm and went on.

'I think you owe an apology, even if we are both partly agreeing what you did was necessary?' Jack's eyebrows rose.

'I don't ask Janet to give me those needles, you know. It's her own fault that...'

'Jack! Stop trying to avoid the obvious,' Daniel said with more vehemance than Jack would expect from him. 'And just listen, alright?' 

'Wow, Daniel, didn't know you had so much pent up anger,' Jack commented.

'Jack, everyone's angry, and I personally don't see how this is going to clear up,' Daniel said slowly. 'But I think the best place to start is with an apology.'

'An apology?'

'Apologise to Sam,' Daniel told him, then went on quickly before Jack could argue. 'Now I know you're bravado and arrogance must be telling you 'Daniel has damn stupid ideas', so before it takes control, just hear me out.' Jack just stared for a second, and Daniel was tempted to leave the mountain forever. What was with these people and staring to get the truth out of you? But Daniel was hardy, and he kept his resolve.

'I had no idea you had ESP,' Jack said lazily. 'But carry on.'

'Just think if the situation were reversed, and Sam did something to jeopardise your career,' Daniel offered. 'And don't say anything about Kinsey flirting with you, because I know that's wrong on too many levels to count.' Jack had to grin at that. 'You'd be mad, and you'd probably want her to apologise.' 

'Actually, I'd be mad, and I'd want to get back at her,' Jack told him, and Daniel would have thrown his hands in the air could he have. 'I'd probably want...' 

'Please, don't say the R word.' 

'What, revenge?'

'Jack, I said don't say it.'

'You're the one that brought it up.'

'I did not!'

'You did too.'

'Did not!'

'Did too!'

'Did not!'

'How did you know I was going to say that? I could have easily said something else,' Jack reminded him. 

'And I'd have thrown the SGC rulebook at your head.'

'Excuse me?'

'You'd want revenge?' Daniel asked him, changing the subject, hoping and hoping Jack would say...

'Yeah, of course I would. Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Daniel?' Jack asked.

'Will Sam want revenge?' Daniel asked quickly before Jack could kick him out of his office. Literally.

'I don't know, Daniel. If you want to know about Samantha Carter, ask Samantha Carter.' Jack's temper was obviously close to snapping, so Daniel decided to tread carefully. 

'Shouldn't you at least consider the possibility that she will want to...get back at you, for lack of a better term?' 

'Yes, Daniel, I am fully aware of that possibility. Not only that, but I've had the pleasure of living it.' Jack rubbed his arm absently. 

'What happened?' Daniel asked, hoping it wasn't too violent.

'Oh, I just got pushed into a wall. I'll be fine.'

'You got pushed into a wall? Jack, I think you have a little more to worry about than that.'

'Daniel, I'm just gonna forget subtlety. Please leave my office.' Daniel just stared at him for a few moments, then turned towards the door. 'Rulebook at my head?'

'Bye, Jack.' Daniel headed through the door, then muttered, 'Good luck,' as an afterthought. As the door slammed behind him, he started heading up the corridor. 'You are sure gonna need it.'

***

'What's up, Daniel?' Janet asked, starting to do her rounds through the infirmary. 'You don't have a head-ache, do you? How's your ankle?'

'My ankle's fine.'

'Still, I want you to stay on your crutches until I say no more.' Daniel just stared at her. 'Daniel, I was in the briefing room earlier. I didn't see any crutches.'

'Wow, do you have a photographic memory or something?' Daniel asked her, only slightly shocked. Amazed was a better description. Janet just smiled.

'No, I have a habit of checking up on my patients at all times, especially since around here, the bravado and 'I'll be fine' attitude runs rampant even when they're on their death bed.' Daniel had to smile at this accurate description.

'So, how's Kinsey?'

'Asleep, thank goodness. I had to give him some sedative, and he fell asleep soon after,' Janet replied. 

'Great,' Daniel muttered. 

'So, what did you come to talk about?' Janet asked, checking the temperature of a captain who was suffering from a bad case of the flu. 'Don't come too close, Daniel.'

'Well, actually, I came to talk to you about Sam and Jack.' Daniel checked the reaction of the captain, but she was thankfully so out of it and head-achey that she hadn't even registered what he'd said. Daniel had some relief about that, he didn't need any comments getting out of control.

'What about them?' Janet asked, stepping back from the bed. 'You keep resting, now.' The captain was half-asleep, so didn't reply. 

'Actually, I'm more worried about Jack,' Daniel amended. 'I'm worried Sam's going to kill him.'

'Kill him? Surely not literally.'

'Oh, you'd be surprised,' Daniel said quietly, following her to the next patient. 'She's mad, and Jack just said that if he was in her position, he'd be out for revenge.'

'That doesn't mean Sam is,' Janet reminded him, then looked up when Daniel didn't reply. He was just staring at her. 'Okay, so Sam probably would be if mad enough.'

'Oh, she's mad enough,' Daniel told Janet. 'Scarily mad, in fact.' 

'What do you want me to do about it?'

'Well...not anything, actually, I just wanted to discuss it with someone else to see if they thought the same as me.'

'Well, I agree it's a bit risky at the moment,' Janet commented, turning to face Daniel properly. 'I think Colonel O'Neill should stay out of Sam's way for a while.'

'How long a while?'

'A few years should do it.' Janet gave a small smile. 'Don't look so worried, Daniel, everything will sort itself out. You won't get anywhere worrying about other people's problems all the time. I'm only allowed to do it because I'm a doctor.' Daniel had to smile at that. 'And because no one around here worries about their own problems.'

'Yeah, I guess. Sorry to interrupt your rounds.' Janet smiled.

'It's fine, Daniel. Just be careful of that ankle, alright? Doctor's orders are to be followed around here.'

'Funny, they're the only orders that ever get followed,' Daniel commented. 'I'll get out of your way.'

'You're not in my way, Daniel,' Janet told him. 'And don't worry too much. The Colonel may bend the regulations to snapping point, but Sam stays in line.'

'Thanks. I have work to get done, though. I'd stay, but...'

'Yeah, I know, work builds up if you even turn away. Go get your work done. I may even escape the infirmary for lunch sometime this afternoon, although with Kinsey and these other patients, I probably won't.'

'How are they?' Daniel inquired.

'For the most part, confused, and don't seem to be any closer to regaining their memories. They've got quite a few more days off, and after that we're going to monitor them carefully,' Janet explained. 'Simmons, who's the worst effected, it seems, is quite low. He seems quite concerned with the memory loss.' She checked something on a clipboard in front of her, then put it back down on the bedside table. 'But other than that, their appetites up, and they seem to be suffering no other adverse affects.'

'So far,' Daniel remarked, and Janet gave him a grim smile.

'So far,' she repeated, sighing almost imperceptibly. 'Anyway, I won't keep you from your work any longer.'

'That's fine,' Daniel told her. 'See you sometime later, hopefully.' Janet smiled.

'Hopefully's the word,' she said as Daniel left the infirmary, hobbling along on his crutches. He kept remembering what Jack had said, and that horrible 'R' word. Revenge. 

*'Actually, I'd be mad, and I'd want to get back at her,'* Jack had said. That sounded all too ominous for Daniel's liking. Hobbling along, he decided he was being ridiculous. Why should he worry? He had nothing to worry about, except for General Hammond's wrath. But that wouldn't be for a while, he reasoned, so even that wasn't worth worrying about just yet.

***

It took a lot of wheedling to get into the room with device, but Sam almost had that down to a fine art, after working with an anti-scientist CO for close to four years. It was still in quarantine, after being turned off again, but Sam had managed to convince the scientists that she really needed to get in there and work on it. Technically, she shouldn't be asking to go in, she should be ordering to be let in. But the circumstances had changed, and with that so did the rules. 

And so Sam found herself handling the object in the glass 'quarantine box' with the gloves on. Onlookers observed from an above window, intrigued as to what she would discover. This annoyed Sam somewhat; she didn't want people looking, but couldn't say so without sounding rude. So she put up with it...for a while.

'How's it going, Major?' one of them asked. Sam gritted her teeth.

'Not very well,' she replied calmly. 'Those scans helped us understand what happens on the inside, but I won't know for sure until I open it. I'm starting to think it's not actually a hormone, more a signal.'

'What kind of signal?'

'A signal that sends some kind of mind control or subliminal messaging to the affect persons, making them act the way they do. For some reason, it only affects males.' 

'Any reason as to why that is so?'

'Not yet, I seem to be over-run with questions while I'm trying to find one.' Although she said it politely, there was a warning undertone, and the scientists thankfully got the hint.

'Sorry, ma'am, we'll return in a few hours to see if you've made any progress,' one of them told her, and Sam looked up and nodded.

'Thank you.' The four left, looking decidedly low, and Sam felt a sudden pang of guilt. That was over-ridden by a memory of Kinsey's face staring at her in wonder. Gritting her teeth even harder, Sam turned her attention back to the device, tapping it. 'Come on, please just tell me how you work!' It suddenly started beeping, and she stepped backwards slightly. 'Wow, never expected *that* one to work!' 

Finally managing to get to the inside of the device, she inspected it while it beeped and whirred in the quarantine container. It seemed quite simple, solid, which explained why it was quite heavy, with a small box nestled in it that came out. It was this box that was causing the beeping, the flashing light and the whirring noise, vibrating against the inside of the device and humming.

'Okay, so how do you work? And why only men?' she muttered to herself, experimenting and running hypotheticals for a couple of hours before the scientists returned. She tried turning the device off, checking to see if it didn't open up any more, pressing buttons, until finally, she took the small box out and sort of waved it around, giving up on any rational science in her desperation to find out how it worked exactly, banging it against the side of the container. Quickly regaining her composure, Sam told herself firmly that that was *not* the way to treat a possibly lethal device. 

Restraining herself from laughing at that thought, she got sidetracked by the scientists returning.

'Doctor? How did you go?'

'Not very well,' she replied. 'There's this small box inside the device, but how it works, I don't know. I found the off and on switch, though, which is helpful.'

'New information has come through,' one of the scientists reported. 'The planet it was received from? Seems Hathor spent some time there.'

*Hathor?*

'Hathor?' Sam said questioningly. 'Why was Hathor there, and how do they know?'

'Another look at the visual shows remains of serpent and horus guards, and...' The scientist trailed away. 'I can't remember the rest, and the report's on my desk. Hathor was there.'

'Well, that changes things slightly,' Sam muttered. 'If I'm told these things, then maybe my job wouldn't be made ten times more difficult!'

'What's that?' one of the scientists asked, and Sam waved her hand, as if to say 'no, nevermind', then placed her hands on the top of the quarantine container. 

'Look, I'm just going to take a break, okay? Make sure no one comes in here.'

'Right.' Sam left the laboratory, hanging her lab coat on a hook as she passed. This was frustrating. This was more than frustrating. This was...

Revenge. 

'Why is revenge so hard?'

'What was that, ma'am?'

'And why do I keep talking to myself in front of other people?!'

***

'She's doing what?' Jack said, intimidating the poor scientist in front of him with his voice. She seemed to cringe away, then regained her composure somewhat.

'I assumed you sent her,' she faltered. 'You being her commanding officer and all.'

'My being her commanding officer never has any affect on anything,' he said harshly. 'She never follows any damn orders anyway.' Sensing some kind of crisis, the scientist just stared, a scared expression on her face.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry.' Jack rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

'No, don't worry, you didn't, it's just...I'm having a bad day.' 

'Shall I go?'

'Please.' The scientist scurried out the door, and Jack sat at his desk fuming for a little while. He had just been informed that his second-in-command was working on the device for no particular reason. She hadn't told the other people working on the device why, just that she wanted to see 'how it worked', and that she wasn't sharing any real progress reports. Another Captain had come in and asked him if Sam was alright, she'd been talking to herself, but Jack had waved that away. It was the device thing that...

'CARTER!' Jack got to his feet quickly, a lightbulb suddenly flashing bright as day above his head. 'Don't think I don't know what you're doing!' He tore the door open and ran down the hallway, pressing the button for the elevator hurriedly. He jumped in as the doors opened, pressing the button for Sam's laboratory's floor. He 'bopped' on the spot impatiently, hopping from one foot to the other as the elevator made its steady way to...

*Ting!*

He jumped out and raced along the halls, knocking loudly on the door.

'Carter?' he called sharply. 'Carter, you in there?' The door was opened by a frazzled looking lieutenant. 

'Colonel?'

'Is Major Carter in there?'

'No.' The lieutenant didn't say anything else, she just stared at the Colonel steadily. He sighed.

'Where is she?'

'I'm not sure, sir. She was in the laboratory with the device for a few hours, but she left there twenty minutes ago. She could be in the commissary, she missed lunch, or...Colonel?' Jack was already racing back to the elevator. The lieutenant shook her head as he jumped in, startling Dr Fraiser as he did so.

'Colonel?'

'Lots of people have said that today. What's up, doc?' Janet rolled her eyes, starting to smile. Jack shrugged. 'I've always wanted to say that.'

'I'm sure you have. What floor?'

'I'm heading to the commissary.'

'So am I. I'm meeting Sam there for a coffee.' Janet looked startled for a second, then shook her head.

'What?'

'I probably shouldn't have mentioned that. But you're already heading to the commissary as well, so you would have found her, anyway.'

'How'd you know I was looking for her?'

'You were on the floor of Sam's laboratory.'

'Was I?' Janet knew better than to argue with Jack when he was in that mood.

'Nevermind, sir.'

'Wasn't going to, doc.' The elevator finally reached its destination, and Jack raced to the commissary. 

When he finally reached it, Sam was already sitting there.

'Carter?' She looked across for a second, then turned away, obviously still annoyed. Jack had to admit she had good reason, but that wasn't the point. He walked across, and sit in the chair across from her. 'Carter, you can't ignore me forever.'

'Unfortunately. But since forever's out, how about I just ignore you until...oh, ten years from now? Twenty?'

'Let's compromise. Fifteen.' Jack noticed Janet hadn't followed him into the commissary, and silently thanked her and her intuition. Sam showed a flicker of a smile, as if she was trying to repress it.

'What do you want, sir?' she asked finally.

'I know what you're playing at.'

'Excuse me?'

'With the device.'

'I'm merely trying to find out how it works.'

'Without orders?' Sam didn't reply.

'It would appear so.'

'Since when do you work without orders?'

'Since this afternoon when I decided to work on the device.'

'I don't think you're trying to find out how it works, I think you're trying to get revenge.'

'How?' Jack paused. If she hadn't thought of it, which he was sure she had, he wasn't about to plant the idea in her mind. With her IQ, she'd master it overnight. 'How, sir?' Sam knew he was trapped, and decided to make the most of it. 'What were you thinking?' Her voice wasn't remotely friendly, but Jack wasn't deterred.

'I'm warning you, Carter. You even think about...'

'You're warning me?'

'Listen, Carter, listen very carefully. You may think you'll have the last word in this matter, but you're wrong.' Jack got to his feet. 'Very wrong.'

'Is that all?' Sam asked coolly. 'I'm waiting for Janet, who is probably outside the commissary waiting for you to leave.' Jack stared at her for a couple more seconds.

'That's all.' He got up and pushed the chair back in, turning and walking out of the commissary with an angry step. Janet was waiting outside, and stepped back as Jack came past. 'She knows you're there,' Jack told her as he past, and Janet watched him storm away, wondering how this all got so complicated.

***

It was getting late, and Sam was getting tired. She rubbed her eyes, staring at the device in frustration. She'd been working on it for ages, and it was creeping towards midnight quickly. Another work-all-night session. But it was going to be worth it. 

'Just not much in my tired state,' Sam told herself.

'Hey there.' She turned quickly and saw Janet walking towards her. 'Working all night?'

'Yep.'

'And it's still because of the Colonel.'

'What?' Sam was confused. What on earth had Janet meant by that?

'I remember just over a year ago you working all night because Jack was trapped. Remember?'

'I'm starting to wonder why I bothered,' Sam said darkly, and Janet laughed.

'At the time I wondered why you bothered,' Janet told her, and Sam grinned ruefully. 

'This time it'll be worth it,' Sam told her. 

'Sam, although I'm sure revenge is foremost in your mind...'

'Janet, it's not just revenge for Kinsey. It's revenge for everything, from the first meeting to now. The grumpiness, the 'Dammit, Carter, explain it so I understand it!' looks and comments, the 'listen to me because I'm in charge even though I'm ethically wrong' looks and comments, the...'

'Okay, I get the point, Sam...although that last point is Air Force rule, you can't take revenge for that.' Sam didn't comment. 'Ethically wrong?'

'The point is, Janet, that this little bit of revenge will help me feel so much better.'

'I'm not sure how the night without sleep will make you feel.'

'I'll deal with that when I come to it. Problem is, I can't make it work.'

'I assume you're trying to...'

'Slam it into reverse.'

'Love that scientific terminology,' Janet laughed, and Sam had to smile. 

'Always works for me. Do you think you can help me?'

'Hey, I'm the doctor, not the astrophysicist.'

'Well, this astrophysicist is having trouble,' Sam told her. 'I just can't find whatever makes it reverse.'

'How do you know?'

'Because I keep getting the same readings. If it's a different signal, the readings would be different,' Sam explained.

'Of course.' Janet studied the device, putting her hands in the gloves that entered the containment chamber and studied the device carefully. Sam waited patiently as Janet studied the device with various instruments. 'Sam, have you seen this?'

'Seen what?' Sam stood on the other side and slipped her hands in the gloves. Janet pointed to something inside the device. 

'I can't see it carefully, we'll need a torch.' Sam took her hands out of the gloves and did a brief search through the drawers in the room, finally finding a small torch. She took it back and held it over where Janet pointed. 'It looks like a tiny switch.'

'A tiny switch?' Sam leant in closer to look at it. 'Janet, that's it!'

'That's it?'

'What else would it be?'

'That's an ominous line if I ever heard one.' Janet took her hands out of the gloves. 'I'll just watch you study it, now.' Sam grinned as she slipped her hands in the gloves again, picking up the tweezers to study the area around the switch while Janet held the torch above it. 

'I can't believe I never saw that before,' Sam marvelled. 

'Probably sleep-deprivation,' Janet said pointedy, but Sam chose to ignore it.

'There's a little symbol there, on that side, and another on the other side...male and female?' Janet shrugged.

'Daniel would probably know,' she said, looking into chamber. Sam looked over at one of the computers in the room.

'Records from Hathor's planet would be on file, right?'

'Hathor's planet? What...?'

'Hathor was on the planet this device was found on,' Sam told her, heading across to the computer. 'Hopefully some files about the planet and language will be on the computer.'

'Fingers crossed,' Janet agreed. Sam quickly logged onto the computer and tried accessing the files.

'I'm really not sure of what to look for,' she admitted to Janet. Janet headed over to the other computer in the room.

'I'll look up Egyptian hieroglyphs while you search the files,' Janet told Sam, who nodded.

'Good idea.'

The room was silent as they both searched, the only thing breaking the silence was someone saying, 'I think I've...damn, forget it,' or 'this is impossible, where's Daniel when you need him?!' Finally,

'Sam, I think I've finally found something!' Janet called. Sam headed over immediately. Up on the screen were several Egyptian hieroglyphs, two of which were familiar. 

'They're on the device,' Sam said. Janet nodded, pointing. 

'And see what that one means?'

'Short-term for Pharaoh,' Sam said.

'And the other for Queen.'

'Male and female,' Sam summarised, and Janet nodded.

'My thoughts exactly.'

'So the switch does actually reverse the effects of the device?' Sam asked, and Janet nodded.

'It would seem that it does.' Leaving the site open on the computer, they both headed back to the device, still debating over whether to flick the switch. 

'I keep thinking of all the devices that went wrong,' Sam told Janet.

'We've looked up the symbols, so it's your call.'

'My call?'

'With my input, naturally,' Janet added, and Sam gave a wry smile. 'If it helps at all, I think it is the reverse switch.'

'So do I. But the chain of command effect is seeping in.'

'Technically, you're in charge.'

'But General Hammond warns me every time we get a device to check with him before I do anything.'

'That's only because you turned on a reactor once without telling him and made the whole base shudder and the alarms go off,' Janet reminded her.

'The whole base did not shudder!' Sam argued. 

'But the alarms went off,' Janet replied, and Sam made a face.

'Minor detail.'

'So are you going to flick it?' Janet asked, and Sam paused, pressing the button that turned the device on and off. The only thing she'd found during her afternoon's experimenting. 

'Count down for me?' Janet nodded, trying to ignore the, 'BIG TROUBLE!' sign that was flashing in bright red letters.

'Three, two, one...' Sam, using tweezers, flicked the switch on the device to the 'Queen' symbol. The device made a light clanging noise, and Sam waited a couple of seconds before pressing the 'on and off' button again. The device seemed to boot itself up again slowly and continue whirring and beeping at a slightly different tone, the lights going off at different intervals. Sam took some quick readings, and smiled in relief.

'The readings have changed, the signals are definitely different,' she told Janet as she replaced the lid on the device, turning it off again, and they both listened to it whir down.

'Well, now that's sorted, you have to get some sleep,' Janet said in an authorative manner.

'Janet...'

'Sleep!'

'Aren't you at least a little...looking forward to this?' Sam asked her, and Janet had to smile.

'Naturally. But sleep comes first. I *am* in charge of your health, remember?' Sam gave in, nodding.

'Yes, alright.'

'And no more working overnight.'

'Well, I can't promise *that!*' Janet gave her a pointed look, but thought it pointless to continue the never-ending dispute any further. 

After packing everything up, they hung up their lab. coats as they left the laboratory, Sam giving the device one last glance as they left.

Revenge was most definitely in.

*************************************************************************************

More apologies for this chapter being so late. At first it was because of exams, and the preparation of, then it was pure laziness, then it was my Harry Potter fic. I'm sorry! :(

So choc chip cookies and blue jelly to all! :D 

Thanks for reading!

Jolinar of Malkshur


	5. Day Four, Part One: Thursday

Sorry I took so long with this chapter :( This is another two parter because it ended up longer than expected...which is good, right? I start school in less than a week, so the next chapter make take a little while…it all depends. 

*************************************************************************************

DAY FOUR, PART ONE: THURSDAY

'Row, row, row your boat...'

'Jack...'

'Row, row, row your boat...'

'Jack!'

'Row, row, row your boat...'

'JACK!' Daniel shouted, finally shutting the Colonel up. Jack gave him a fake surprised look and picked up a 'rock' from Daniel's desk, twirling it around in his hands. 'If you are going to sing out of tune, at least pick a song you know the words to!'

'Now, where's the fun in that?' Jack asked, and Daniel shook his head. Jack had come into his office earlier to help him with the final stages of sorting out all the paperwork, and Daniel had to give him some credit, he had helped for a little while. But then he had grown bored with that and had decided to entertain Daniel instead; this took the form of singing after arguing had grown old.

'Where's the fun in singing an out of tune first line of a song over and over?' Daniel asked tiredly, and Jack just stared at him, a grin starting to form on his face. 'Yeah, okay, don't answer that.'

'The General's called me into his office today,' Jack told him, putting the 'rock' back on the desk. 'I think he's finally ready to face me.'

'Didn't take long,' Daniel commented, vaguely interested. At that moment, he was more interested in finding the right spot for his file on Seth.

'I found the timing kinda odd,' Jack admitted. 'But maybe he just wants to court-martial me and get me out of the compound as soon as possible.' Daniel grimaced.

'If Kinsey gets his way, Sam'll be out too.' Jack winced for a moment, then his face straightened.

'No, he won't, because our dear friend Senator Kinsey is, at the moment, lying in the infirmary with no memory of the incident.'

'He'll remember threatening you about Sam.'

'Well...that's easily fixed,' Jack said, trying to sound upbeat. 'It was unreasonable, anyway, so Hammond'll talk him around.'

'You sound certain,' Daniel told him.

'Because I am.' Daniel didn't buy it for a minute. He could tell Jack was worried, and was simply trying to cover up so as not to let his guard down. Typical Jack O'Neill, and Daniel said as much. Jack just gave him a confused look. 'What?'

'Huh?'

***

General Hammond stared at the papers on the desk in front of him, then thought about the task ahead of him, and sincerely wanted to resign. The last thing he wanted to deal with was Colonel O'Neill. He was still so furious he didn't know what to think, but at the same time, felt some measure of relief. Relief the whole meeting had been brought to a screeching halt. He hated to think of what would have happened if Kinsey had had his way. Yet again, the Stargate program would have the threat of being shut down hanging over it.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts.

'Enter.' The door opened and Jack walked in. 

'General?'

'Have a seat, Colonel.' Jack obediently sat down in the chair General Hammond gestured to, and didn't say anything.

'So?'

'Colonel, I presume you know what this is about,' General Hammond started, and Jack held his hands up.

'Please, General, spare the 'you were wrong for doing this talk', and get straight to the punishment.'

'I don't think you realise how serious this is, Colonel.'

'Serious, but we're able to talk our way out of it,' Jack told him. The General was unconvinced. 'I understand, it was the wrong thing to do. But if I hadn't done it, we'd be out on the street wondering if we had enough time to even cover the Stargate, and Teal'c would be in a laboratory quicker than you can say, 'Hey, that's kind of unfair.''

'I understand that, Colonel, but exposing Kinsey to a device that could prove lethal...I admit, I was so angry when it happened that I couldn't even stand to be in the same room with you.'

'It's not often you receive compliments like that,' Jack commented. The General shook his head.

'Colonel, we can't just cover this up. You heard Kinsey's threats, he's sure to remember those.' Jack fumbled for the right words to that comment, but eventually accepted defeat. 

'Sir, I'm sure it'll turn out alright,' Jack assured him.

'Colonel, I have the right to court-martial you.'

'General...I've had a lot of time to think about this...well, not a *lot* of time, but time...anyway, if we can both argue that it was an accident, Kinsey being exposed, everything will sort itself out,' Jack explained, and General Hammond sighed. He had a point. If he really wanted, an agreement could be made between the people concerned, namely General Hammond and SG-1, and a plausible lie could be made up for Kinsey's 'accident.'

'It's just the seriousness of the nature, Colonel,' General Hammond reminded him. 'You have a long list of offences under your name, you're lucky you've made it this far.'

'And I have you to thank for that, General,' Jack said, actually sounding thankful. 'You have been lenient, and I've tried to not be so...what's the word?'

'Insubordinate?'

'Pain in the ass-ish was what I was looking for, but insubordinate works well too,' Jack commented, and General Hammond gave a small smile, as if reluctantly. 'I'm asking you to give me one more chance. It was good, in a way.'

'Believe me, Jack, I've had time to think about this as well,' General Hammond told him. 'The more I think about it, the less angry I get, which is surprising. I guess that's my relief taking over. I'm just worried about Kinsey still wanting the meeting to go ahead once he regains his memory. Then he'll know you lied. And we'll both be in trouble.'

'Sir, how was I supposed to know the side effects of the device?' Jack asked.

'You were there when it first went off in Major Carter's laboratory...you walked past.'

'I did?'

'Colonel...'

'General, who else knows I was there?'

'Dr Fraiser, Major Carter, Dr Jackson, the nurses...'

'The doc would cover for me, Daniel...I'll bribe him with exotic coffee beans. The nurses...what can I say, they love me.' General Hammond smiled at that.

'And Major Carter?'

'Well...she would...uh...I'll speak to her, everything'll be fine,' Jack assured him.

'Colonel, there are reports stating you were there.'

'Reports, who reads reports?' Before the General could respond, there was a knock at the door.

'Enter.' The door opened and Sam walked in. 'Major, what can I do for you?' General Hammond noted that she took one look at Jack, then pretended he wasn't there. 

'Sir...I studied the device last night, and...'

'Ah hah!'

'Ah hah what?' Sam demanded.

'Nothing.' She glared at him for a couple of moments before turning back to General Hammond, who watched the exchange with growing interest. 

'I'll talk to you later, General,' Sam promised.

'Just pretend I'm not here,' Jack encouraged. Sam didn't reply. 'Oh, you're good.'

'Come back at fourteen hundred hours, Major,' General Hammond told her. She nodded.

'Thank you, sir.' She turned to leave his office, but, on a whim, the General called her back.

'Major?' 

'Yes?'

'You know what they say about carrying grudges over to the next day.'

'No, what do they say?'

'That you're not supposed to,' General Hammond told her.

'I was never big on cliches,' Sam told him, then left the office. 

'That's my influence,' Jack commented, and General Hammond sighed.

'Colonel, this is getting too complicated. I'll organise a meeting for SG-1, and get back to you. A team meeting would probably get more done.'

'Yes sir. May I leave?'

'Certainly. Oh, and Jack?' Jack stopped as he was standing up. 'The grudge comment goes for you, too.'

'Who's holding grudges? Besides,' Jack added with a wry smile. 'I was never big on cliches.'

***

'When will I get my memory back?' Lieutenant Simmons asked. 'I just remember Major Carter's laboratory and then...I woke up here!'

'And when will I get my memory back?' Kinsey demanded. 'All I can remember is being led on a tour by Colonel O'Neill and then...nothing.' 

'Yeah, I wanna remember as well!' 

'Yeah, and me!' Janet sighed, trying to remain patient. 

'You will get your memories back when you do,' she replied. 'Lieutenant Simmons first, Senator Kinsey last. In between, the order in which you got affected by the device. This is all I know. Or guess,' Janet added in an undertone.

'You're the doctor!'

'It was an alien device, I...why am I even explaining myself to you?' Janet wondered, rubbing her eyes and making a couple of notes on a clipboard. She put it back down on the table, then sat back in her chair, eyes closed.

'Doc?'

'Colonel, I have patients in here that won't stop complaining about not having their memories, and who keep asking me when their memories will come back. I got only a couple of hours sleep. Choose your words wisely.'

'Uh...I was actually going to ask how the patients are, but maybe I'll just back away slowly and come back later.' Janet opened her eyes and sat forward. Jack was standing, studying an IV drip. 

'Anything else?'

'What makes you ask that?'

'You're still standing here.'

'Fine, I was actually wondering how annoyed Carter is at me.' Janet didn't answer for a few moments, trying to choose her words carefully.

'Um...well, can I put it mildly?'

'Sure.'

'On the scale of being annoyed, one being the lowest, ten being the highest, Sam rates at, oh, fifty.'

'And that's mildly?' Jack asked. 'How about realistically?'

'Oh, then you're talking hundreds,' Janet replied, and Jack's face took on a resolute expression. 'She'll recover, she's been mad at you before.'

'Do you know how unnerving it is to have a person with a high IQ mad at you?' Jack asked. 'Especially someone with a high IQ who can cause bodily harm.'

'Is there something else?'

'What's she planning?'

'Huh?'

'Come on, if she's planning some kind of doomsday revenge method, you'll know about it. Well, you and possibly Daniel. I haven't been to the commissary yet, so I thought I'd ask you,' Jack told her. Janet pondered his words for a couple of seconds. Commissary?

'What about the commissary?' she asked finally.

'Bribery. Anyway, do you know anything?'

'Colonel, even if I did, I wouldn't tell you.'

'Ah! So you *do* know something!' Jack said triumphantly.

'Did I say that?' Janet countered.

'You implied it.'

'I did not!'

'What is it? What's she going to do?' Janet sighed, realising that denying it would get her nowhere.

'I told you, I'm not telling you. And no amount of begging will make me tell you.'

'Oh, come on!' Jack wheedled, begged, pleaded, pretended to not be interested and pretended to already know, but Janet refused to tell him anything. He finally left the infirmary, grumbling about 'those annoying people who never tell anybody anything'. Janet shook her head, leaning back in her seat. Her eyes were barely closed when,

'Doctor Fraiser! When will I get my memory back?'

***

'Simple,' Sam muttered to herself as she stared at the device. 'But, hopefully, very effective.' All Sam had to do was make sure the Colonel was in the room with the technicians and scientists...five in all...while Sam wasn't. There was no way on God's earth Sam was going to be in the room when that device went off again.

That was one difficulty. The other was keeping the technicians and scientists in there without them realising what she'd done. Or was going to do.

The third was getting the Colonel to the laboratory in the first place. And that was the first difficulty Sam was going to deal with. She checked her watch. Ten-thirty. Taking a deep breath, she stepped away from the device, heading over to the phone on the wall near the door. No one said anything, they just kept muttering to themselves and taking notes. 

Picking the phone up, Sam asked to be contacted with Colonel O'Neill. It seemed to take hours, but finally,

'O'Neill.'

'Sir, it's me,' Sam said. She kept her voice cool. 'Could you...' Damn, wait, he was suspicious. He'd think something was up if...

'Carter?'

'Could you come by my office sometime in the next fifteen minutes?' Sam asked quickly. 

'What for?'

'Mission reports,' she told him.

'Carter...'

'Thank you.' She hung up the phone quickly, then high-tailed it out of the laboratory. 

'Major Carter!'

'Fifteen minutes!' Sam called back, practically throwing her lab. coat on its hook as she headed down the hall as quickly as possible.

Finally making it to her office, she headed inside and sat down in relief, not bothering to turn the light on.

'Hello.' She jumped, reaching automatically for the weapon at her waist that wasn't there. 'Relax, Carter. Where've you been?'

'I had to...'

'Had to what? Run from the laboratory to here?' Jack asked, stepping forward from where he was standing beside the wall. He had a tennis ball in his hand, and was tossing it from left to right. 

'No, I had to go check something,' she replied, trying to remain calm.

'Why the rush?'

'Because I knew you were going to be coming here!' Sam snapped, then tried to regain her composure. 'I need you to help fill out a report.'

'You need my help?'

'Yeah...the device.' Jack rolled his eyes.

'Here we go...'

'Sir, you were there when it was first activated. We need you to fill out a report of your findings.'

'Plan's changed, I wasn't there.' Sam just stared at him.

'Plan...what plan? And yes, you were there, I saw you.' Jack shook his head.

'No, no, the plan for when Kinsey wakes up. General Hammond's gonna talk to us about it. Basically, we're gonna wipe any traces of me being there and knowing what the device does,' Jack explained. 'At least, that's my plan.' 

'Can we do that?' Sam asked, skeptical. 'Anyway, even if it never sees the light of day, I need your accounts. That'll help us with further study and investigation.' For a moment Sam thought he wasn't going to buy it. He considered what she said for a few moments, then finally bounced the tennis ball on the ground, caught it and stared at her.

'Fine. I'll head down, if you really need the report.'

'Yes.' This part was true, Sam did need his account of what happened. 'What's this about a meeting?'

'Talking to me now?'

'Apparently not,' Sam replied, standing up and feeling a fresh surge of anger. 

'I didn't...'

'You first,' Sam instructed, pointing to the door. Jack sighed.

'For the record, Carter, I don't want you to...'

'Falling on deaf ears, Colonel,' Sam informed him. 

'You're walking a fine line,' Jack warned her. She gave him a wry smile.

'And you crossed yours a long time ago.'

***

Jack was highly suspicious as they made their silent way to the laboratory. News of the argument and the meeting must have spread, because everyone they met, in the elevator and in the halls, looked surprised to see them walking together. But this apparently passed when they saw the coolness between them. Neither had spoken a single word to each other the whole way. 

Upon finally reaching the laboratory, Jack noticed that Janet was inside, talking to a few scientists.

'Wonder what the doc's doing there,' Jack wondered, and Sam nodded crisply in mutual surprise.

'Probably trying to find a cure,' Sam suggested, and Jack nodded.

'Probably.' Sam grabbed her lab. coat, then pointed to the spare ones.

'Take one.'

'Why?'

'Because...when people are in this laboratory, it's my responsibility to make sure no one's hurt,' Sam informed him. 'That includes you. I've told you to take a lab. coat, it's your choice if you do or not.'

'Bossy,' Jack muttered, grabbing a coat.

'You're worse.'

'You're really enjoying throwing attitude at me, aren't you?' Jack asked her. 'Why do you think you can get away with it?'

'Because you've got a worse charge over your head,' Sam explained. 'You can't exactly say anything.'

'Good point.' Sam started to walk into the laboratory, not looking to see if he was following her. 'Way smarter than I am,' Jack muttered to himself, following her into the laboratory. He saw the scientists crowded around the quarantine container, and saw the device sitting on top.

'Sam!' Janet said, greeting her. 'Colonel.'

'Doc.'

'Hey, Janet. Why are you here?' Sam asked her in surprise.

'Trying to find a way to cure those in the infirmary,' Janet told her. 'They are successfully driving me crazy. Anyway, why weren't you here?'

'Had to go get something, apparently,' Jack told Janet, making a face at Sam's annoyed glance.

'Oh, well, apparently nobody's found anything.' Janet shook her head. 'I'm still praying the memories will recover on their own.'

'We have found something,' one of the scientists said, turning around and taking off her safety glasses. 'The device's readings have changed.' Jack raised his eyebrows.

'Meaning?'

'Meaning there's a different signal being released,' the scientist explained. Jack wasn't stupid as he occasionally acted, he knew *that*. 

'Yeah, I figured that. What does that *mean*?'

'It could have...maybe reverse? Maybe a weaker signal, we're not sure.'

Ting! 

Putting two and two together wasn't that difficult under the circumstances, Jack mused. And all it took was a blabber-mouthed scientist.

'Really?' Sam asked, but Jack put a hand on her arm.

'Carter? You worked on this device all night.'

'Your point?' 

'My point is that...'

'Major Carter!' Sam turned and wrenched her arm away. 

'What?'

'The device's signals just elevated...we must have turned it on!'

'If it's in quarantine, then it's okay.'

'It lets out signals even when off?' Janet asked.

'Like a slow hum when you turn a radio off,' Sam explained. 

'It's not in quarantine!'

'What?!' Sam exclaimed. 'Shut it off!'

'No, just run!'

'Somebody shut it off! Who took it out of the container?' Sam demanded, and Jack started heading for the doorway. The five scientists and technicians ran for the doorway, as did Janet.

'Colonel, you're the only one who's safe in here!' Janet told him. 'Sam, get away from it!'

'I can't shut it off! You shut it off! And you're not going anywhere. You're going to tell me how to shut that thing off!' Jack practically shouted. Sam ran from the device.

'Colonel, only you're safe!'

'You're the astrophysicist!'

'I can't go near it!' 

'Well, I can't fix it!' He grabbed her arm. 'You shut it off!'

'Shutting quarantine doors.'

'No!' The doors slammed and Sam hit them with her fist.

'We have to keep you separate from the base!' Sam admitted defeat, trying to keep as far away from the device as possible. 

'How do we shut it off?' Jack demanded.

'The switch is on the base, they turned it around...I have to get out of here!' 

'And how do I get to the switch?'

'Touch the device!'

'Major, the outer temperature of the device is rapidly increasing!' one of the scientists exclaimed. She was keeping a monitor on the device from outside the room.

'It didn't do that last time!' Sam cried in frustration. 'Can you turn it off by remote?'

'No!' 

'Major, the signals have peaked, I suggest you stay as far away as possible.' Jack grabbed her arms in annoyance.

'You did this!'

'I did not! I only found the reverse switch! I didn't turn it on! I didn't take it out of quarantine! I didn't...'

'You were going to do this!'

'You deserved it!'

'What, you go all pious when I do this for the Stargate program, then you turn around and do it for what?' Jack demanded.

'So you'd get it through your head that what you did was out of line!'

'So's what you're doing!'

'I didn't do it!' Sam exclaimed. '*They* turned it on!'

'We've been through this!' Jack cried. 'Now work out how to shut it off!'

'It's too hot to touch, I _know _how to shut it off!'

'Why didn't you earlier, then?'

'A little something called I can't go near it!' Sam exclaimed, trying to dodge out of his grip. 'Let me go!'

'What do we do?'

'I don't know!' 

'Major, why haven't you been affected?' someone asked over the PA system.

'Sam, I think you got such a large dose that you've moved past the stage the people in the infirmary are at and have moved on to...' 

'Anger?' Jack suggested. Sam just glared at him, then tried to regain her composure.

'So, because I've been exposed so much it doesn't work?' Sam called up to them. Jack couldn't help but feel relieved. He had to give her credit, if the scientist hadn't blabbed, and if the device hadn't gone off, it would have been the perfect plan. He was just glad that...

'Why does she get to be in there with him?'

'That is so not fair!'

'So she works with him and gets to spend time with him here as well! I bet she doesn't even appreciate it. You get away from him, Major!' 

'Yeah! Only _you _stay away as well. I've seen him look at me.' 

'No way! He looks at me all the time...' Sam averted her eyes, trying to bite back the grin that was threatening to appear on her face.

'Major,' Jack said through gritted teeth. 'Was that Doctor Fraiser?' Sam let out a smile and looked up.

'Yes, sir.'

'So, in essence, the plan worked.'

'I guess so.'

'Still, why aren't you affected? I'm thanking God for that, by the way,' Jack added.

'Jolinar?'

'But if it was Hathor's...'

'She wouldn't want her female Jaffa to be affected,' Sam finished. 'She'd want to lure those who weren't already Jaffa.'

'Hathor with female Jaffa?' Sam stifled a smile.

'There aren't that many good looking guys for her to use as Jaffa out there.'

'I'll take that as a compliment,' Jack decided.

'Why?' Sam was surprised.

'Because I almost became her first prime.'

'Oh, geez.' Jack let go of her arms and stepped back.

'You're not going to hit me?'

'You're not going to hit *me*?' Sam echoed pointedly.

'Deja vu.'

'I'm not starting this,' Sam informed him, then heard as an argument over the intercom started up.

'He's stepping away! Take that, Major, he likes me better!'

'Get real, it's me he checks out! Every time I walk past he looks back and...'

'You think he gets hurt so much by accident? Half of it's on purpose because I'm always in the infirmary.'

'I don't get hurt that much,' Jack argued, and Sam shrugged.

'I think they're making up anything they can think of.' 

'Major? I got out of there before the signals really started to manifest themselves. The EM field is decreasing, as is the outer temperature. I believe it's safe to turn the device off. Meanwhile, should I take this lot to the infirmary?'

'Yes,' Sam and Jack said at the same time. Sam approached the device carefully.

'We're sure I'm not affected, right?'

'Well, if you start flattering me on my appearance and asking me to go out for a drink with you...'

'I'm safe?'

'You're normal,' Jack finished, and Sam rolled her eyes, biting back a smile. 

As she got nearer to the device, she heard a low hum. Sam also heard the arguments of the four scientists and Janet being led out of the watching area. Finally reaching the device, Sam hesitated before she touched it, picking up a pair of discarded tweezers and hoping she could push the device over onto its side.

'Need help?'

'No, I'm right,' Sam called back, positioning the tweezers and pushing. Not a budge. The device was too heavy.

'You sure?' Sam didn't reply, she just pushed again.

'The tweezers are ridiculously small,' she complained. Jack walked up and turned the device on its side. 'Now that's what...'

'Just go with it,' Jack interrupted, and Sam muttered,

'Yes sir,' before quickly locating the switch and pressing it. They both listened to it wind down. 

'Now we run as fast as we can. Remember, we were never here.'

'General Hammond is going to kill us.'

'Us?'

'Okay, he's going to kill *me*,' Sam amended. 'Although...'

'It was an accident,' Jack told her.

'Sir, you have every right to...'

'It was an accident. I needed to make the report...we'll stick with that...and the rest goes as it did. The device was taken out of quarantine, accidentally turned on, and the rest is history,' Jack explained. 'Right?'

'Sir...'

'What you planned to do and what happened are two very diff...' Sam just stared at him, and Jack trailed off. 'Okay, two identical things, but this would have happened whether you and I were here or not. It would be a lie to court martial you...and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't, not when it's so easily explained away.' Sam smiled.

'Thank you, sir.' Sam checked a couple of instruments. 'The EM field and signals created seem to have disappeared,' she told Jack, who nodded.

'Can we open these quarantine doors?'

'Hopefully the scientist unlocked them,' Sam replied.

'Well, to the infirmary we go. We're off to see the...'

***

'Hammond.'

'Sir, there's been an accident with the device SG-3 brought back...Doctor Fraiser and four others have been affected. The nurses are...'

'What happened?' General Hammond demanded.

'It was out of the quarantine container and someone must have turned it on...Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter were stuck in there with it.' General Hammond shook his head and covered his eyes.

'So the device is in reverse now?'

'Yes, but Major Carter wasn't affected. We're not sure why, but there are five people here who were affected and they're getting violent with each other.'

'I'll be there immediately,' General Hammond told the startled scientist. 'Order people to...' A knock at the door stopped him.

'Sir?'

'Come in, Major. I'll see to it,' he said down the phone and hung up. 'Major, what on earth happened today?'

'Well, Colonel O'Neill said I should report here...it's a long story, sir, but the device went off. Someone took it out of the container, and five people were adversely affected. I believe because of Jolinar I wasn't, at least, not in that way.'

'In what way then?' the General asked, wondering if this would ever end.

'Anger...but that could have just been me.'

'Sit down, Major, and explain.' Sam sat down, and started to speak, telling the General how she had needed Jack to fill in a report about the device, how it went off, and how she'd gotten stuck in there. She also spelled out her theories about why she wasn't affected.

'Hathor wouldn't want to affect the few female Jaffa she must have with the device, as they would start going after the male Jaffa who worship her. Instead, she'd want to lure those who aren't Jaffa, have them lose their memories, and wake up with a symbiote,' Sam finished. 'And because I have the protein marker, it didn't affect me.'

'Major, it's my understanding that you put the device into reverse, am I correct?' Sam hesitated. 'Major?'

'Yes, sir, that's correct.'

'You said you worked on it all night.'

'Yes, General.' General Hammond shook his head, feeling extremely suspicious.

'Major, I'm under the impression that you orchestrated this. Why did you work on it all night?'

'I was interested,' Sam replied. He stared at her, and Sam hastened to explain. 'An unknown device that could cause people's emotions and actions to change is fascinating. The technology behind it...plus the fact it could be of Goa'uld origin. Hathor, to be exact, just adds to the...' General Hammond held his hand up, realising he would have to be direct.

'I'm asking you, did you set this up as some form of revenge against Colonel O'Neill?' Sam didn't reply for a moment, she seemed to be finding the right words. 'Major?' General Hammond prompted, waiting for her reply.

'I admit, sir, that the thought did cross my mind,' Sam replied. 'But what happened today was out of my control, as those involved will testify.'

'Those involved are in the infirmary, currently attacking each other,' General Hammond told her.

'Sir, I am not at fault here,' Sam explained. 'One of the technicians set the device off, it was a co-incidence that Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Fraiser and I were there. It would have gone off whether we were there or not.' General Hammond made up his mind, and stood up.

'I understand, Major. I'm heading to the infirmary myself, to try and sort this out. How's the device?'

'Back in quarantine,' Sam told him.

'Good. Come with me to the infirmary. Hopefully, more answers are waiting there.'

'Yes, sir,' Sam replied, standing up and following the General out the door.

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Thanks for reading, and (hopefully) reviewing! ;)

Choc chip cookies and blue jelly to all!

Jolinar of Malkshur


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